Ever found yourself giving a huge angry outburst over something petty and insignificant? Have you ever had to suffer the consequences of an emotional, uncontrolled anger-stricken rage?

Some people have gotten suspended or even fired from their jobs following an episode of anger tantrums, and more people have lost friends and messed up relationships because of their inability to control anger.

If you’ve found yourself in the same situation at one point or another, maybe you need help in anger management.

Here are some tips on how not to let your emotions get the best of you:

Silence is Your Friend. Feeling the ripples of an anger outburst just beneath the surface? As much as possible, try not to speak. Practice silence, even for just a few minutes. 

One common advice in anger management counselling is to count to ten before speaking. This already allows enough time for you to process thoughts rationally and can keep you from saying anything that you will most likely regret afterwards.

Just Breathe. Do not underestimate the power of deep breathing; it can have a wonderful calming effect on you. If you are feeling very angry, then you have to set your mind on persistently breathing deeply and steadily until you are feeling calmer. Just imagine that with every breath you exhale, you are already expelling the anger from your system.


Find Out the Causes of Anger. Anger can be caused by external and internal triggers. Usually, external triggers such as people, events, and circumstances, are inevitable but they are easier to deal with. They can easily be overcome; situations pass and conflicts with people can be resolved.            

More often than not, it’s the internal trigger that causes a bigger anger problem. Internal triggers are the messages your inner voice is whispering to you. These messages, or self-talk, are often the results of irrational assumptions, insecurities, and misinformation. To fight anger, you have to be able to recognize these triggers.            

The best way to counteract these internal triggers is by replacing your self-talk with positive subliminal messages. Subliminal messages can replace the negative thoughts in your mind that often cause lasting anger with positive messages that change your perception of what’s going on around you.

So instead of focusing on your anger, you can convince yourself that:              
I am in control of my emotions.               
I am bigger than my anger.           
I see no reason to be angry.             
I am releasing my anger.    
I am able to stay calm at all times.                         
I am strong enough to conquer my feelings.                     
I always face all circumstances with grace and calmness.               

Anger Management Therapy Begins Inside You. Keep in mind that nothing can make you angry unless you allow yourself to be angry. Why waste time being angry and hurting those around you when you can spend it being happy and appreciating your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues? Remember, you hold the power to choose and control your feelings, not the other way around.

written by Nelson Berry