Debbie Jordaan
Motherhood and Letting Go
Hello everyone and welcome to the new readers to this wonderful site. This month the Universe tested me to the extreme and beyond - As a mother, Partner and Human being. With all that is happening to our planet right now I'm hoping my article can take you away from your own thoughts for a while.
Being a mom of two girls is sometimes trying as I worry about them constantly though they are adults and living their lives. As a mother you get intertwined in their lives and sometimes forget that you once were young and also didn't take your moms advice.
My one daughter is diabetic and many more complications - mommy of two beautiful souls - my two grandsons. She is the best mommy she can be in her health situation - though her extended family make her life hell and as it's her husband’s family I can't really intervene and defend my daughter as she tells me she will sort them out. So all I can do is be there for her in an unbiased way to prevent any further problems.
My other daughter is a career driven young lady and is going through some soul searching. I really like her partner - as she is my child and all I can do is love her and listen to her no matter where the road takes her. My wish for her is that she achieves the best she can be and strive for happiness. She is elusive and chooses not to share her trials in life. The only time she shares anything with me is if she has already decided what to do. Her happiness is all that matters to me.
Hello everyone and welcome to the new readers to this wonderful site. This month the Universe tested me to the extreme and beyond - As a mother, Partner and Human being. With all that is happening to our planet right now I'm hoping my article can take you away from your own thoughts for a while.
Being a mom of two girls is sometimes trying as I worry about them constantly though they are adults and living their lives. As a mother you get intertwined in their lives and sometimes forget that you once were young and also didn't take your moms advice.
My one daughter is diabetic and many more complications - mommy of two beautiful souls - my two grandsons. She is the best mommy she can be in her health situation - though her extended family make her life hell and as it's her husband’s family I can't really intervene and defend my daughter as she tells me she will sort them out. So all I can do is be there for her in an unbiased way to prevent any further problems.
My other daughter is a career driven young lady and is going through some soul searching. I really like her partner - as she is my child and all I can do is love her and listen to her no matter where the road takes her. My wish for her is that she achieves the best she can be and strive for happiness. She is elusive and chooses not to share her trials in life. The only time she shares anything with me is if she has already decided what to do. Her happiness is all that matters to me.
Sometimes being a partner is difficult as he is needy and I'm so used to being left to my own choices and devices. Needy in a good way and I still get the freedom I need and time to give to others that also need me. He accommodates my religious beliefs and my bipolar without judgement.
My bipolar has had a field day this month as well so at any given time when I feel like doing anything I'm happy and content even if it is for a short while. I have to be strong as no one else is going to do it for me. We are in control of our own emotions and avoid people that make us feel like we are worth less than how we should be feeling. So letting go of toxic people is the best strategy for anyone.
The universe has tested me for a reason and no matter what I'm always grateful for what I have no matter the situation. I have abundance of people that love me and I am content with what I have. Thank you mother earth for your abundance of beautiful souls in my life.
My bipolar has had a field day this month as well so at any given time when I feel like doing anything I'm happy and content even if it is for a short while. I have to be strong as no one else is going to do it for me. We are in control of our own emotions and avoid people that make us feel like we are worth less than how we should be feeling. So letting go of toxic people is the best strategy for anyone.
The universe has tested me for a reason and no matter what I'm always grateful for what I have no matter the situation. I have abundance of people that love me and I am content with what I have. Thank you mother earth for your abundance of beautiful souls in my life.
Goodbye My Soul Sister
This is a love story of sorts except it celebrates the love of two girls that were best friends and cousins. The love story ended when Margi passed away on the first of February 2020. The relationship of sisterhood started in 1972 when they were born three days apart.
This story tells you of me- Deborah and my cousin Margaret aka Margi. We officially became attached at the hip when we were around five years of age or so. Myself and my brothers would go visit Margi and her family every opportunity we could get as our moms were sisters it was accepted that my aunt would have us often as my mom was a single parent and my aunt helped her out. As Margi and myself were the only two girls among her four brothers and my two brothers we formed a bond as we had to stand up to all these boys but we were loved by them though they pestered us into oblivion.
As the years went by Margi and I grew closer, a bond that was unbreakable. Our bond was so solid and we were in sync with each other. We would get physically ill if we didn't see each other every few days, so off to the plot every weekend to Margi - myself and my brothers would go. I was taught to be a real plot child by playing the games my boy cousins taught us but I would never change that experience for the world. The times spent there were the best days of my childhood.
This is a love story of sorts except it celebrates the love of two girls that were best friends and cousins. The love story ended when Margi passed away on the first of February 2020. The relationship of sisterhood started in 1972 when they were born three days apart.
This story tells you of me- Deborah and my cousin Margaret aka Margi. We officially became attached at the hip when we were around five years of age or so. Myself and my brothers would go visit Margi and her family every opportunity we could get as our moms were sisters it was accepted that my aunt would have us often as my mom was a single parent and my aunt helped her out. As Margi and myself were the only two girls among her four brothers and my two brothers we formed a bond as we had to stand up to all these boys but we were loved by them though they pestered us into oblivion.
As the years went by Margi and I grew closer, a bond that was unbreakable. Our bond was so solid and we were in sync with each other. We would get physically ill if we didn't see each other every few days, so off to the plot every weekend to Margi - myself and my brothers would go. I was taught to be a real plot child by playing the games my boy cousins taught us but I would never change that experience for the world. The times spent there were the best days of my childhood.
As Margi and myself grew up and went our separate ways we still had time for each other. Margi started getting sick and stopped sharing things with me. Typical cancerian she went into her shell and wouldn't allow me into her world of chaos. In her depression she had developed a drinking problem and her breast cancer was escalating. She just gave up on treatment and got lost in her world of depression.
She was going toward illegal ways to get pain control and no one was aware except when it had reached its peak and point of no return. Her family was helping pay her debt to the people supplying her illegal pain medicine and it came at a hefty price.
Eventually her body had had enough and she passed away from numerous illnesses in regards to her condition. I have not mourned her. Am I happy about her parting? Not sure. In the confines of my soul I feel happy that she has no more pain but am very sad I couldn't save her from herself.
Goodbye to a beautiful soul. You will be missed. I love you my soul sister.
She was going toward illegal ways to get pain control and no one was aware except when it had reached its peak and point of no return. Her family was helping pay her debt to the people supplying her illegal pain medicine and it came at a hefty price.
Eventually her body had had enough and she passed away from numerous illnesses in regards to her condition. I have not mourned her. Am I happy about her parting? Not sure. In the confines of my soul I feel happy that she has no more pain but am very sad I couldn't save her from herself.
Goodbye to a beautiful soul. You will be missed. I love you my soul sister.
Spiritual Freedom
Hi Everyone. Hope you had a wonderful New Year and my wish for you is that you have only beautiful prospects ahead.
My article this month encases my current relationship paired with spirituality.
In my previous relationships I had to practice my beliefs privately as the men I were with never allowed me the freedom to be me.
To them I was either a toy, maid or slave.
As in my current relationship I can discuss my pagan beliefs and explore other different religions at the same time without judgement. I’m pulled toward Hinduism as I have discussed before, but am open to many others.
I grant my daughters the freedom of their Christian belief without prejudice as every person has their own mind and opinions.
My grandsons are always telling me how great Jesus is - how big he is. They want to be like him. I even tell them tales of the bible.
Hi Everyone. Hope you had a wonderful New Year and my wish for you is that you have only beautiful prospects ahead.
My article this month encases my current relationship paired with spirituality.
In my previous relationships I had to practice my beliefs privately as the men I were with never allowed me the freedom to be me.
To them I was either a toy, maid or slave.
As in my current relationship I can discuss my pagan beliefs and explore other different religions at the same time without judgement. I’m pulled toward Hinduism as I have discussed before, but am open to many others.
I grant my daughters the freedom of their Christian belief without prejudice as every person has their own mind and opinions.
My grandsons are always telling me how great Jesus is - how big he is. They want to be like him. I even tell them tales of the bible.
My whole family from grandfather, grandmother- to aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews all have gifts. My own daughter has a gift to talk to people that have passed but she's blocking it due to not wanting to see the spirits.
I know one day my daughter will embrace her spirituality but for now let her go to church just as I go to church in nature.
It's a beautiful life and we all deserve to be the best we are at what it is we choose to do.
Thank you for your continued support by reading my thoughts and true life anecdotes.
Be blessed
Deborah
I know one day my daughter will embrace her spirituality but for now let her go to church just as I go to church in nature.
It's a beautiful life and we all deserve to be the best we are at what it is we choose to do.
Thank you for your continued support by reading my thoughts and true life anecdotes.
Be blessed
Deborah
Mom
Festive Sadness
Merry Meet New Readers. Welcome to our regular readers.
This month my story is personal - about my phobia on Christmas time.
I had a whole year where my older daughter had ran away from home - on and off.
The last time I had found her she stayed.
We were putting up Christmas decorations and she stood in my doorway, she looked at me and said she is going to stay with her dad because she is pregnant. The father of my grandson at the time was not allowed at my mom's house where I was staying.
She was a few months pregnant before telling me.
My grandson was born on the twelfth of December. I wasn’t at the birth as I was extremely depressed with her leaving.
I got over myself and went to the hospital to see her and him - I fell in love with that gorgeous baby. That was the beginning of my life - he's birth.
My mom's birthday is the twenty seventh of December. We always had a small intimate celebration. It will always stay in my thoughts on that specific day.
My mom fell ill to asthma and emphysema. She was in and out of hospital. Six years ago the eighteenth of January was her death date. She passed at home and I wasn’t there that day
Merry Meet New Readers. Welcome to our regular readers.
This month my story is personal - about my phobia on Christmas time.
I had a whole year where my older daughter had ran away from home - on and off.
The last time I had found her she stayed.
We were putting up Christmas decorations and she stood in my doorway, she looked at me and said she is going to stay with her dad because she is pregnant. The father of my grandson at the time was not allowed at my mom's house where I was staying.
She was a few months pregnant before telling me.
My grandson was born on the twelfth of December. I wasn’t at the birth as I was extremely depressed with her leaving.
I got over myself and went to the hospital to see her and him - I fell in love with that gorgeous baby. That was the beginning of my life - he's birth.
My mom's birthday is the twenty seventh of December. We always had a small intimate celebration. It will always stay in my thoughts on that specific day.
My mom fell ill to asthma and emphysema. She was in and out of hospital. Six years ago the eighteenth of January was her death date. She passed at home and I wasn’t there that day
My mom with my girls when they were younger. The baby is a friends baby
So guilt of not being there in her time of need really got to me.
I always wanted to take care of people so decided at the time I wanted to do caring. My path of being a senior carer started before my mom's death where I was asked to take care of her partner’s mother. It was a beautiful experience giving myself to someone. Just their love and appreciation was all I needed. It felt as if the universe had opened my path of life. Giving me purpose. Especially for people that are sick and die alone.
I wanted to be there when the family couldn't be as in the case of my mom - me not being there.
I always wanted to take care of people so decided at the time I wanted to do caring. My path of being a senior carer started before my mom's death where I was asked to take care of her partner’s mother. It was a beautiful experience giving myself to someone. Just their love and appreciation was all I needed. It felt as if the universe had opened my path of life. Giving me purpose. Especially for people that are sick and die alone.
I wanted to be there when the family couldn't be as in the case of my mom - me not being there.
My first born grandson
I became a career and actually had a patient hold my hand taking her last breath. I can’t begin to explain the feeling. I was hoping at that time that I was making my mom proud by being what my patient needed.
So to me my spiritual awakening came from the first patient - my step gran. She was a beautiful soul and just gave me love.
In conclusion - my mom's birthday being two days after Christmas and her death date in January doesn’t make it easier for me. So my grandson’s birth 12th December 9 years ago just lightens my heart in my time of sadness when I miss my mom in the festive period.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story. Have a beautiful festive season and may the New Year welcome you in wonderful ways
So to me my spiritual awakening came from the first patient - my step gran. She was a beautiful soul and just gave me love.
In conclusion - my mom's birthday being two days after Christmas and her death date in January doesn’t make it easier for me. So my grandson’s birth 12th December 9 years ago just lightens my heart in my time of sadness when I miss my mom in the festive period.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story. Have a beautiful festive season and may the New Year welcome you in wonderful ways
Buddhism Saved Me
This month I'm writing about male abuse from women. Yes, men suffer mental and physical abuse from women and society. The story I'm telling this month is of a friend of mine who was and still is abused by he's wife. Though they have been separated for 11 years.
Since meeting she's been an alcoholic. She never was a mother nor a wife. The only walls she knows are rehabilitation walls and still drinks and blames her kids and husband for her alcohol abuse. Her husband eventually wondered out of the marriage and he then found happiness In religion - Buddhism. Instead of a lover.
He went to Thailand for a month to discover what was lying beneath the veil of Buddhism.
He found peace in he's thoughts by meditating. Meeting the monks and that became he's coping mechanism. He discovered by changing he's thoughts he could get over the obstacle of the wife that was a human leech.
Maybe he's wife should find religion and it could possibly make her a better human.
This month I'm writing about male abuse from women. Yes, men suffer mental and physical abuse from women and society. The story I'm telling this month is of a friend of mine who was and still is abused by he's wife. Though they have been separated for 11 years.
Since meeting she's been an alcoholic. She never was a mother nor a wife. The only walls she knows are rehabilitation walls and still drinks and blames her kids and husband for her alcohol abuse. Her husband eventually wondered out of the marriage and he then found happiness In religion - Buddhism. Instead of a lover.
He went to Thailand for a month to discover what was lying beneath the veil of Buddhism.
He found peace in he's thoughts by meditating. Meeting the monks and that became he's coping mechanism. He discovered by changing he's thoughts he could get over the obstacle of the wife that was a human leech.
Maybe he's wife should find religion and it could possibly make her a better human.
Women Oppressed
Yes as humans we have evolved but to whose advantage? This is not hate speech targeted at the male species but the male has laws and regulations in their collective religions that are mostly to their advantage and the female must bow down and be the lesser person.
I might sound like an activist of note but its merely my opinion on females being under valued and under estimated.
I watched a movie " If Walls Could Talk 2 ". It was brilliant. Had three stories of females that are gay and how they progressed from 1962 to 2000. A movie worth watching.
Females in some religions are not allowed to do many things - mostly not having a voice on how many children they want or if they even want children.The way they are allowed to dress and even if they are allowed to be in the presence of males in a social circle.
Religion wise they might have a choice but as a female child you have to follow your parents religion unless you rebel and follow your own path once you get to an age where you are allowed to have a voice or opinion.
I have two siblings. Males. Afrikaans mom and dad. My mom was a single mom so times were tough. She gave us the freedom to explore our religions. My one brother is Atheist. The other Muslim.
That was accepted by my mom but as soon as I found my spiritual path I was judged. So does that mean as parents we allow the boys more than the girls or is it just the fact that I followed a Taboo religion according to society?
I could write a book on this subject but I'm going to end off by saying that whether you are male or female just respect each other as humans. No matter what race you are we are all inhabitants of this beautiful planet.
Lets preserve this planet and take care of its inhabitants.
Yes as humans we have evolved but to whose advantage? This is not hate speech targeted at the male species but the male has laws and regulations in their collective religions that are mostly to their advantage and the female must bow down and be the lesser person.
I might sound like an activist of note but its merely my opinion on females being under valued and under estimated.
I watched a movie " If Walls Could Talk 2 ". It was brilliant. Had three stories of females that are gay and how they progressed from 1962 to 2000. A movie worth watching.
Females in some religions are not allowed to do many things - mostly not having a voice on how many children they want or if they even want children.The way they are allowed to dress and even if they are allowed to be in the presence of males in a social circle.
Religion wise they might have a choice but as a female child you have to follow your parents religion unless you rebel and follow your own path once you get to an age where you are allowed to have a voice or opinion.
I have two siblings. Males. Afrikaans mom and dad. My mom was a single mom so times were tough. She gave us the freedom to explore our religions. My one brother is Atheist. The other Muslim.
That was accepted by my mom but as soon as I found my spiritual path I was judged. So does that mean as parents we allow the boys more than the girls or is it just the fact that I followed a Taboo religion according to society?
I could write a book on this subject but I'm going to end off by saying that whether you are male or female just respect each other as humans. No matter what race you are we are all inhabitants of this beautiful planet.
Lets preserve this planet and take care of its inhabitants.
My Journey
Everyone here knows I suffer from bipolar disorder,so my spirituality has a lot to do with to get me through my dark days.
In this time I've been off the blog I've been going through a difficult time in relationships and my mental state has been taking a toll on my day to day activities.
I have the privilege of writing for the blog again so there's definitely a light in my soul.
I have recently had a relationship break up of 6 years. He left with no explanation - my depression went into overdrive.
I felt a pull toward Hinduism, especially Ganesha. I'm not becoming a Hindu but the peaceful nature of this religion gets me through my hard times.
When I stopped writing my mind was in turmoil but getting back to poetry and surrounding myself with my precious stones and dream catchers has brought me back to myself.
I'm currently living on a farm in the Vaal area so tranquility is a step outside the back door. I'm not a cat person but I'm caring for the owners cat and the cat is more dog as it allows me to train it. So I think I was an Egyptian in a previous life.
I'm off- but thank you once again for allowing me to write for you.
Debbie
Everyone here knows I suffer from bipolar disorder,so my spirituality has a lot to do with to get me through my dark days.
In this time I've been off the blog I've been going through a difficult time in relationships and my mental state has been taking a toll on my day to day activities.
I have the privilege of writing for the blog again so there's definitely a light in my soul.
I have recently had a relationship break up of 6 years. He left with no explanation - my depression went into overdrive.
I felt a pull toward Hinduism, especially Ganesha. I'm not becoming a Hindu but the peaceful nature of this religion gets me through my hard times.
When I stopped writing my mind was in turmoil but getting back to poetry and surrounding myself with my precious stones and dream catchers has brought me back to myself.
I'm currently living on a farm in the Vaal area so tranquility is a step outside the back door. I'm not a cat person but I'm caring for the owners cat and the cat is more dog as it allows me to train it. So I think I was an Egyptian in a previous life.
I'm off- but thank you once again for allowing me to write for you.
Debbie
