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Franky Van Den Berg

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My 10 Second Rule

We often lose focus on what truly matters in this life. The fast pace of life, along with an increasing need for everything to be rushed and to be constantly improved. This can place tremendous pressure on one and we are often entirely focused on the task and requirements at hand and in the process we place our well-being, opinions and health at the end of our list of priorities. I too was trapped by this unhealthy way of living until my health caved and forced me to reconsider my ways. Since my wake-up call I have had many hours reflecting on my past daily routines, how I handled work, stress (or rather, the lack thereof), attending to my daily eating habits, quality sleep (or rather: too little thereof) and equality as important, if not more so, the people I allowed in my social life and the treatment from them I allowed and brushed off. I've learned much during the long period of thoroughly attending to getting my health back on track, lessons that have changed my life (and health) for the better and it is these lessons I want to share with the aim of preventing others from going through the same experiences as I by providing insight to others. I have processed the information in a manner that enables effortless application.

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  1. The majority of communication you have is the internal dialogue you have with yourself. Therefor, it is of great importance to pay attention to the thoughts you allow in your mind. The relationship/communication you have with yourself can be just as abusive as an abusive relationship with another person. Moreover, the treatment you allow your internal dialogue to have with yourself is subconsciously the type of treatment you are likely to allow from others.
  2. Time management. By planning your day you can set time aside for essential tasks including snack breaks (ensuring you have a sufficient eating and hydration routine), time to give your mind and body a break (maybe go for a quick jog instead of continuously sitting behind your desktop) and allow for sufficient time to unwind before going to bed, which may improve the quality and quantity of sleep you get.
  3. Failure to plan is planning to fail. Keeping a daily journal and planner will allow you to allocate time more effectively, keep track of time and allow for proper breaks and identify longer term habits: you can only effectively address habits that is sub-optimal for your health, wellness and wealth if you properly identify and track your true habits. Plan your snacks for the say instead of grabbing anything that is in the fridge when you are beside yourself with hunger and risk overeating, eating too little or having an unbalanced diet. By setting a particular diet that is best suited for you which can improve your mental and physical health and energy, support you in reaching a healthy weight (if that is a goal of yours).
  4. Be reasonable with yourself. Rome wasn't build in a single day and expecting yourself to move mountains is unreasonable. Putting yourself under a tremendous amount of pressure to perform won't only affect your work progress and quality negatively, but it will harm you in a physical and emotional aspect. Setting out a reasonable amount of work to be completed daily will not only improve your self-esteem, but it will also enable you to make consistent progress instead of spending hours stressing and bullying yourself about the work you haven't done and experiencing the consequences of the stress.
  5. Upon countering a challenging situation or a situation prevoking strong emotions I have a ten second rule. First, I turn around close my eyes and count to ten while taking deep, focused breaths. Then, I compile facts about the situation. If there are other people involved ask them for their perspective first, before reaching a conclusion. Put all emotions aside (I know it seems difficult, but you'll improve with practice) and establish your priorities regarding the situation. I operate better by writing my thought process down in a notebook and often list the pro's and con's of the situation. Identify the best plan of action in order to achieve your priority.

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The Meaning of Life
 
As I sit here, attempting to compose a hopefully not too elaborate introduction about myself, about why I'm sitting here...

I'm known by many names: Franky, animal activist, microbiologist, the forever student, personal trainer, aspiring power-builder, vegan, spiritualist, pagan (wrongfully named by ignorant beings not knowing of better) or witch, cancer survivor, motivational speaker (although I still stand by that I'm only pointing out the facts), miracle...and all are true. When viewing it laid out so objectively it is challenging to imagine how it all could germinate from a single origin. The same goes for my reputation. Someone may speak fondly of me, whereas another may hold a grudge against me and again, all are true. Compartmentalizing my introduction into a 'Before', 'The Event' and 'After' may be more elegant.

I was an average human being, a personal trainer and student who enjoyed the typical things in life: spending time with my furbabies, 'hitting' another personal record (PR) and completing studies step by step. Life as I knew it changed abruptly one weekend.

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​I suffered horrific stomach pain for which no remedy brought relief. I'm told I went to bed a Sunday night and screamed in pain. Rushed to the hospital I was admitted and underwent an emergency operation. (I said I was told, as I have no recollection of these 24 hours). A burst stomach cancer tumor was removed and the damage was contained to the maximum extent. I nonetheless suffered two heart attacks while under and did not awaken until three weeks later...well, not to this realm, in any case. I experienced realms and interacted with beings I can write novels about, but sharing those extraordinary and life changing events would not feel appropriate. 

My medical condition was so poor I was kept in a separate ICU unit as nor doctors nor nurses thought I had any chance of survival. Spoiler alert: I did. What I do want to share however, is those 'three weeks' (that was in fact four months, if I allow the passing of time according to Otherworldly 'physics'). I've changed in more aspects than I can explore in one lifetime. My way of thinking has been entirely altered. I know just how little we do know. That is the beauty of Life: to be the Eternal Student with the Universe as the Eternal Teacher. I am a proud and ecstatic first-grader who had a productive day at class and is ready to run home and share it with everyone. And that is exactly what I will be doing here: sharing messages and lessons with anyone willing to spend their time of day listening. Lessons about what our souls need, about how to be a happier human being, how to be healthier mentally, physically and spiritually. About the meaning of Life. 

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