Grazia Martienssen
“My Doll”
We emigrated from Sicily in 1964, when I was 5 years old. After school I went back for 2 years, and my favourite great-aunt or “pro-zia” as we say in Italian, had a doll on the couch, nothing special just a toy. She told me that I had left it behind, and she’d kept it as a souvenir and given it my name -Grazia. Years later she died not having had any children.
“Inheritance”
One of my cousins inherited the house. Years later my nephew from Australia went to Italy, he visited the house with the intention of purchasing it to keep it in the family. He sent me photos and I asked if there was a doll, he said ‘’yes, but it was mouldy, dirty, naked and missing one leg’’. Nobody knew anything about it, so I told him the story. My cousin, who inherited the house decided to look for the leg, which she found.
My 93-year-old aunt in Sicily, which is my dad’s sister who moved to South Africa before us, made it her mission to fix, clean and clothe the doll in order to reunite it with me after all this time. Being a sentimental person with a heart of gold, she stopped at nothing less than making sure the leg functioned again like it did when I was a child. With the ordeal of the leg out the way, she even went as far as knitting an outfit for the doll. The doll is now ready to go and is awaiting my nephew’s next visit to Italy for it to be shipped back to me.
We emigrated from Sicily in 1964, when I was 5 years old. After school I went back for 2 years, and my favourite great-aunt or “pro-zia” as we say in Italian, had a doll on the couch, nothing special just a toy. She told me that I had left it behind, and she’d kept it as a souvenir and given it my name -Grazia. Years later she died not having had any children.
“Inheritance”
One of my cousins inherited the house. Years later my nephew from Australia went to Italy, he visited the house with the intention of purchasing it to keep it in the family. He sent me photos and I asked if there was a doll, he said ‘’yes, but it was mouldy, dirty, naked and missing one leg’’. Nobody knew anything about it, so I told him the story. My cousin, who inherited the house decided to look for the leg, which she found.
My 93-year-old aunt in Sicily, which is my dad’s sister who moved to South Africa before us, made it her mission to fix, clean and clothe the doll in order to reunite it with me after all this time. Being a sentimental person with a heart of gold, she stopped at nothing less than making sure the leg functioned again like it did when I was a child. With the ordeal of the leg out the way, she even went as far as knitting an outfit for the doll. The doll is now ready to go and is awaiting my nephew’s next visit to Italy for it to be shipped back to me.
“Can’t go now”
Unfortunately, though, due to the current world-wide crisis that COVID-19 is causing, I may have to wait a while longer to see the doll in person again. The doll is waiting, and hopefully after everything settles, he’ll be able to go again, and my aunt will have the satisfaction of knowing I have received it. I would have totally understood if they had thrown it away, after all, it is just a toy…..expect for the sentimental value they attached to it, which makes me feel loved and special.
In short, this story proves that objects can be lost or misplaced, and memories can gradually grow faint, but sentimental value itself is timeless, and it has the ability to create comfort when least expected. The “doll”, well Grazia ‘’Junior’’ lives on.
Thanks for reading
Grazia ‘’Senior’’
Unfortunately, though, due to the current world-wide crisis that COVID-19 is causing, I may have to wait a while longer to see the doll in person again. The doll is waiting, and hopefully after everything settles, he’ll be able to go again, and my aunt will have the satisfaction of knowing I have received it. I would have totally understood if they had thrown it away, after all, it is just a toy…..expect for the sentimental value they attached to it, which makes me feel loved and special.
In short, this story proves that objects can be lost or misplaced, and memories can gradually grow faint, but sentimental value itself is timeless, and it has the ability to create comfort when least expected. The “doll”, well Grazia ‘’Junior’’ lives on.
Thanks for reading
Grazia ‘’Senior’’
My Christmas Memories
The first time I met Santa was on the ship when we immigrated to South Africa with my parents and two younger brothers, from Sicily. We did not write letters in those days and I don’t remember what we got but we were happy with what Santa gave us.
When we arrived we lived in Devil’s Peak and mom told us he was coming and showed us his sleigh coming along Table Mountain (the imagination went wild and we could see the sleigh in the clouds). In preparation for Santa’s arrival mom put out serviettes on the dining room table with each of our names on them for the gifts. We were told that we had to be asleep otherwise he wouldn’t visit. I recall being in bed that first Christmas eve and hearing a noise and I remember thinking “its Santa I must sleep” (I must have fallen asleep immediately I don’t remember anything else after that). On that Christmas morning I remember waking up early and finding a doll by my serviette on the table. I got very excited but everyone else was still sleeping so mom told me to go back to bed or Santa would take the doll away.
A few years later we moved to Vredhoek there I remember a whole Christmas scene with cable car going up and down it and dolls dressed as Mary and baby Jesus. It was set on a large plank in the corner of the lounge. We were told that Santa had a sweet tooth, so we left out chocolates and sweets etc. Even hanging them on the tree and the next morning they were gone. My eldest cousin Santo played Santa for all the little Italian children. I remember getting a little basket with 3 lemon shaped soaps from him. (It’s crazy how I believed in Santa despite the fact that I knew it was him.) In all the big stores there were different Santa’s, mom would take us to at least 1 of them to get a lucky packet.
When we lived in Sanddrift we decorated a tree in our garden. By this time I was in my teens and we always had people over for lunch. One of the families that always came over for Christmas had 2 little boys and mom would buy a set of cars for them. She would take them out the package and give them one each. Sometimes we went to midnight Mass but dad wasn’t really a church goer so if he didn’t join us we would go during the day instead. (Mostly mom and I).
The first time I met Santa was on the ship when we immigrated to South Africa with my parents and two younger brothers, from Sicily. We did not write letters in those days and I don’t remember what we got but we were happy with what Santa gave us.
When we arrived we lived in Devil’s Peak and mom told us he was coming and showed us his sleigh coming along Table Mountain (the imagination went wild and we could see the sleigh in the clouds). In preparation for Santa’s arrival mom put out serviettes on the dining room table with each of our names on them for the gifts. We were told that we had to be asleep otherwise he wouldn’t visit. I recall being in bed that first Christmas eve and hearing a noise and I remember thinking “its Santa I must sleep” (I must have fallen asleep immediately I don’t remember anything else after that). On that Christmas morning I remember waking up early and finding a doll by my serviette on the table. I got very excited but everyone else was still sleeping so mom told me to go back to bed or Santa would take the doll away.
A few years later we moved to Vredhoek there I remember a whole Christmas scene with cable car going up and down it and dolls dressed as Mary and baby Jesus. It was set on a large plank in the corner of the lounge. We were told that Santa had a sweet tooth, so we left out chocolates and sweets etc. Even hanging them on the tree and the next morning they were gone. My eldest cousin Santo played Santa for all the little Italian children. I remember getting a little basket with 3 lemon shaped soaps from him. (It’s crazy how I believed in Santa despite the fact that I knew it was him.) In all the big stores there were different Santa’s, mom would take us to at least 1 of them to get a lucky packet.
When we lived in Sanddrift we decorated a tree in our garden. By this time I was in my teens and we always had people over for lunch. One of the families that always came over for Christmas had 2 little boys and mom would buy a set of cars for them. She would take them out the package and give them one each. Sometimes we went to midnight Mass but dad wasn’t really a church goer so if he didn’t join us we would go during the day instead. (Mostly mom and I).
My thoughts about Christmas as an adult
I feel that Christmas gifts should be small and significant (leave bigger gifts for birthdays). I say this because how do children feel when Santa gives them a cheap toy or just a few sweets and their friend gets a bicycle or an Xbox? Also don’t splash out too much because you must still live after Christmas. And with big expensive gifts it becomes more about that then the birth of Jesus the highlight for me has been midnight mass. When my daughter was little I ran a small day care from home and used to involve the children in making the decorations. Not only is this a good way to keep them busy, but it also made them proud of what they accomplished. It’s also a good way to bond with children while you teach them to be creative. For inspiration I used to get library books, but of course you can also do a quick google search for ideas.
We also made our own wreath every year now we have two made out of an old Christmas tree one for hangs on the door while the other is on a table.
In Italy traditionally we have “La Befana” an old woman that comes around on the ephiany (7 January) looking for baby Jesus to deliver gifts …..Hope you enjoyed reading my story.
I feel that Christmas gifts should be small and significant (leave bigger gifts for birthdays). I say this because how do children feel when Santa gives them a cheap toy or just a few sweets and their friend gets a bicycle or an Xbox? Also don’t splash out too much because you must still live after Christmas. And with big expensive gifts it becomes more about that then the birth of Jesus the highlight for me has been midnight mass. When my daughter was little I ran a small day care from home and used to involve the children in making the decorations. Not only is this a good way to keep them busy, but it also made them proud of what they accomplished. It’s also a good way to bond with children while you teach them to be creative. For inspiration I used to get library books, but of course you can also do a quick google search for ideas.
We also made our own wreath every year now we have two made out of an old Christmas tree one for hangs on the door while the other is on a table.
In Italy traditionally we have “La Befana” an old woman that comes around on the ephiany (7 January) looking for baby Jesus to deliver gifts …..Hope you enjoyed reading my story.
Just my thoughts
I have a religion (Catholic) and also believe in spirituality. For me the most important thing is love (for humankind, the universe etc.…..) and non-judgement. We should see the good in all religions and what we can learn from it.
I’ve been helped a lot by spiritual healers, as well as prayers. After all we all ask a Higher Power/Higher Deity/God for the healing or whatever we praying /asking for; it’s done through us not by us. I say the rosary every day and often see it in my meditation. In one of the meditations I saw a crystal rosary laid out open on the ground with a with a crystal pearl in the centre of it….and my interpretation is that Mother Mary (whom I have always been close to) will lead /is leading me on my spiritual path.
It’s sad that religions people don’t understand spirituality (and are even against it and spiritual people are against religion). Some had a religion and left it. Do they feel they have to be on one side or the other?
I feel spirituality and religion go together and I belong to bot. If only we could come together and discuss and try to understand each other without judgement and work together for the good of mankind; the world would be a wonderful place. All types of religion basically teach us to do good.
At the monthly angel service a lady commented that religions basically teach us to do unto others as we want others to do unto us.
Would love to hear from anyone else who feels they fit into both as well.
I have a religion (Catholic) and also believe in spirituality. For me the most important thing is love (for humankind, the universe etc.…..) and non-judgement. We should see the good in all religions and what we can learn from it.
I’ve been helped a lot by spiritual healers, as well as prayers. After all we all ask a Higher Power/Higher Deity/God for the healing or whatever we praying /asking for; it’s done through us not by us. I say the rosary every day and often see it in my meditation. In one of the meditations I saw a crystal rosary laid out open on the ground with a with a crystal pearl in the centre of it….and my interpretation is that Mother Mary (whom I have always been close to) will lead /is leading me on my spiritual path.
It’s sad that religions people don’t understand spirituality (and are even against it and spiritual people are against religion). Some had a religion and left it. Do they feel they have to be on one side or the other?
I feel spirituality and religion go together and I belong to bot. If only we could come together and discuss and try to understand each other without judgement and work together for the good of mankind; the world would be a wonderful place. All types of religion basically teach us to do good.
At the monthly angel service a lady commented that religions basically teach us to do unto others as we want others to do unto us.
Would love to hear from anyone else who feels they fit into both as well.
Teddy
Way back in 2004, for my daughter’s 9th birthday she wanted a puppy. Luckily just around the corner from us a little dog had a litter looking for new homes. Hubby and Eldoray sneaked off to choose a puppy. She returned full of smiles that melted my heart with a little golden puppy. The most obvious name was Teddy.
Getting adjusted took a bit of time, and eventually we had peace at home as Teddy and Felix (our cat), became best friends. Daily you would see them chasing each other around the garden and sleeping snug together in bed. Every morning, Teddy would ensure that Eldoray woke up in time. I simply said “Teddy do your duty” and she would immediately bounce all over and lick Eldoray’s face, just to ensure she would get up.
Somewhere in 2005, Teddy fell in love with a male poodle and graced us with her own litter. A proud and determine dog, Teddy insisted the best spot for her babies was my wardrobe. With a warm blanket and big crate, my wardrobe became the maternity ward. In the late afternoon, Teddy gave birth to 4 adorable little pups, she required a bit of assistance with the forth pup). Just like all good mothers, Teddy was protective of her little baby, and would sometimes push the others away and only allow this weaker little pup to feed. Teddy would fiercely guard the bedroom door whenever visitors came near. At supper time, Teddy would inspect the home cooked human food. She would remove all traces of onions from the bowl before allowing her pups to feed. Later I learned that onions are bad for dogs. We are always learning.
Way back in 2004, for my daughter’s 9th birthday she wanted a puppy. Luckily just around the corner from us a little dog had a litter looking for new homes. Hubby and Eldoray sneaked off to choose a puppy. She returned full of smiles that melted my heart with a little golden puppy. The most obvious name was Teddy.
Getting adjusted took a bit of time, and eventually we had peace at home as Teddy and Felix (our cat), became best friends. Daily you would see them chasing each other around the garden and sleeping snug together in bed. Every morning, Teddy would ensure that Eldoray woke up in time. I simply said “Teddy do your duty” and she would immediately bounce all over and lick Eldoray’s face, just to ensure she would get up.
Somewhere in 2005, Teddy fell in love with a male poodle and graced us with her own litter. A proud and determine dog, Teddy insisted the best spot for her babies was my wardrobe. With a warm blanket and big crate, my wardrobe became the maternity ward. In the late afternoon, Teddy gave birth to 4 adorable little pups, she required a bit of assistance with the forth pup). Just like all good mothers, Teddy was protective of her little baby, and would sometimes push the others away and only allow this weaker little pup to feed. Teddy would fiercely guard the bedroom door whenever visitors came near. At supper time, Teddy would inspect the home cooked human food. She would remove all traces of onions from the bowl before allowing her pups to feed. Later I learned that onions are bad for dogs. We are always learning.
Teddy was always near her babies and a very good mother to them. As to be expected, her babies did find new homes. Two of her daughters went to a forever home to our other neighbours. Teddy build an excellent relationship with them, as they would visit each other and play together. The daily visits continued until the neighbour moved.
As the years went by, Teddy grew old, and slowly lost her sight and a huge amount of weight. I was terrified of visiting the vet, as I did not want to hear the obvious solution. I would rather sit quietly, rubbing and chatting calmly with her. Daily, one could see the growth in her neck growing bigger and bigger, eventually, she could no longer bark nor make any sound. Teddy smelt like death. I could not face it (am in tears even as I write).
Fortunately, we met a lady who feels animals pain. We invited her to our home to see Teddy. She gently stroked Teddy and felt her hand burning, the heat was intense. She said the unavoidable, the unthinkable. What we did not want to hear.
That night, I dreamt that Teddy was upset and running around with her son, Strippy, in a beautiful field filled with flowers……………
RIP Teddy, you still live in our hearts and will always be remembered
As the years went by, Teddy grew old, and slowly lost her sight and a huge amount of weight. I was terrified of visiting the vet, as I did not want to hear the obvious solution. I would rather sit quietly, rubbing and chatting calmly with her. Daily, one could see the growth in her neck growing bigger and bigger, eventually, she could no longer bark nor make any sound. Teddy smelt like death. I could not face it (am in tears even as I write).
Fortunately, we met a lady who feels animals pain. We invited her to our home to see Teddy. She gently stroked Teddy and felt her hand burning, the heat was intense. She said the unavoidable, the unthinkable. What we did not want to hear.
That night, I dreamt that Teddy was upset and running around with her son, Strippy, in a beautiful field filled with flowers……………
RIP Teddy, you still live in our hearts and will always be remembered
Cat Healings and Other Healings
I won a healing for Felix (my 17yr old cat) with Heidi (Animal Communicator also known as the Dog Lady). This was a distance healing…..I send her photos on WhatsApp. Felix had bloodshot eyes and what looked like a blood tear, Heidi did her magic and everything is now clear and gone. Heidi recommended a diet for all my pets, today even my 15 year old dog is healthy and very active.
After a short conversation with Denver at the Holistic Fayre we decided I needed a shiatsu healing. The results are astronomical, I am a lot more decisive since then. I can’t explain how these healings work but they are powerful and they work. I used to get pains in my head (but they weren’t headaches so I always blamed the cold) Today they are gone. I think it’s through things going wrong that we become unsure and start doubting myself to the point that I become indecisive.
I have also had some energy healings with Luanda (she’s learning till the end of the year and practises when she gets a chance). She also picked up a lot and will definitely be a powerful healer. She does distance healing as well if she can’t see you.
Soul drawing
Last year (2018 August) I had a soul drawing done for myself and my daughter (as it’s our birthday month). Priscilla told me I will see the growth in a years’ time well this year I had it done again and the difference was tremendous. We showed Priscilla last year’s one after she finished the new one (She doesn’t want to see it before).
The colours each stand for different things. What amazed me was how my daughter understood the difference even before Priscilla explained the drawings, she’s very spiritual. Her soul drawing showed growth as well.
What Priscilla picked up was amazing in the first drawing she picked up I am Catholic and close to Mother Mary and in the second drawing that I had been through a lot lately…..this shows in the shadow on the drawing….and she picked up a lot about my daughter as well.
I am truly blessed to have my daughter in my life. For my 60th birthday she gave me a wonderful surprise party at Nina’s house. Some of you may have seen the photos on Facebook or WhatsApp.
I won a healing for Felix (my 17yr old cat) with Heidi (Animal Communicator also known as the Dog Lady). This was a distance healing…..I send her photos on WhatsApp. Felix had bloodshot eyes and what looked like a blood tear, Heidi did her magic and everything is now clear and gone. Heidi recommended a diet for all my pets, today even my 15 year old dog is healthy and very active.
After a short conversation with Denver at the Holistic Fayre we decided I needed a shiatsu healing. The results are astronomical, I am a lot more decisive since then. I can’t explain how these healings work but they are powerful and they work. I used to get pains in my head (but they weren’t headaches so I always blamed the cold) Today they are gone. I think it’s through things going wrong that we become unsure and start doubting myself to the point that I become indecisive.
I have also had some energy healings with Luanda (she’s learning till the end of the year and practises when she gets a chance). She also picked up a lot and will definitely be a powerful healer. She does distance healing as well if she can’t see you.
Soul drawing
Last year (2018 August) I had a soul drawing done for myself and my daughter (as it’s our birthday month). Priscilla told me I will see the growth in a years’ time well this year I had it done again and the difference was tremendous. We showed Priscilla last year’s one after she finished the new one (She doesn’t want to see it before).
The colours each stand for different things. What amazed me was how my daughter understood the difference even before Priscilla explained the drawings, she’s very spiritual. Her soul drawing showed growth as well.
What Priscilla picked up was amazing in the first drawing she picked up I am Catholic and close to Mother Mary and in the second drawing that I had been through a lot lately…..this shows in the shadow on the drawing….and she picked up a lot about my daughter as well.
I am truly blessed to have my daughter in my life. For my 60th birthday she gave me a wonderful surprise party at Nina’s house. Some of you may have seen the photos on Facebook or WhatsApp.
Our Experience as Foster Parents
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Learning from others….
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
I’d love to hear from other parents of foster or adopted children of any age. When she was younger the social workers used to hold meetings for foster parents but they so overworked….and every couple of years we had a different social worker (I don’t even know how many we had over the years).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
My Personal Journey
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
This all started for me when I was put in touch with Nina (the lady who runs the Fayre). Our families had known each other for many years and had lost touch. My nephew put me in touch with her again. I started attending Angel Service every 1st Sunday of the month and at the first service (during meditation) I was presented with a key. I didn’t understand what this key was about till I dreamt about a lot of doors opening and becoming one door. I mistakenly thought it was doors opening for my daughter, only to discover later that the messages and “gifts” we receive is for yourself. That meant that the doors were opening for me.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
PS: A lot of people have asked what’s an angel service? Well it’s not religion it’s for anyone who believes in angels or wants to know more about them. Personally I believe they’re God’s messengers and it’s something that can unite us all because they in all the bibles. We always start with the Lords pray…….
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Letting Go
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
If you have children or are in charge of any young people find what they good at and help them develop their talents. If you didn’t get that from your parents, teachers or guardians give it to yourself.
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
So once we have seeked, found and knocked written, shouted maybe even used a punching bag, spoken to a pastor, priest or best friend maybe even had counselling but is it enough? Well not always.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
