Grazia Martienssen
Karl my Husband
Since 1993
With my dear husband’s permission, let me tell you a bit about him. He is the eldest of two, his sister is 10 years younger. He was born at the Kingsbury maternity hospital in Newlands where he also lived, on 10/6/1960. Shortly after, they moved to the Gardens in Cape Town where he started school at Tamboerskloof Primary, but in Standard one (now grade three) his parents moved him to Vredehoek Primary, where he went to a remedial class (Then known as a Special class).They moved again to Edgemead, and in 1976 he went to De Grendel Secondary school where he took a keen interest to woodwork.
Since 1993
With my dear husband’s permission, let me tell you a bit about him. He is the eldest of two, his sister is 10 years younger. He was born at the Kingsbury maternity hospital in Newlands where he also lived, on 10/6/1960. Shortly after, they moved to the Gardens in Cape Town where he started school at Tamboerskloof Primary, but in Standard one (now grade three) his parents moved him to Vredehoek Primary, where he went to a remedial class (Then known as a Special class).They moved again to Edgemead, and in 1976 he went to De Grendel Secondary school where he took a keen interest to woodwork.
Growing up
His mom was the main bread winner as dad wasn’t earning enough and didn’t have a steady income. On a side note, he doesn’t understand men being the main providers, which has caused tension in our marriage. As a child, they had several domestics during the years that looked after them. He fondly remembers Lizzie because she took him out and his mom even called her on weekends to see if she wanted to go out or clean the house. He talks about ‘My Lizzie’ fondly.
At the weekend, family and relatives often got together and enjoyed scones which his mom baked. (Now at 91 she makes pancakes.) Sometimes they invited friends over for snacks or had dad’s cousin over for lunch.
His mom was the main bread winner as dad wasn’t earning enough and didn’t have a steady income. On a side note, he doesn’t understand men being the main providers, which has caused tension in our marriage. As a child, they had several domestics during the years that looked after them. He fondly remembers Lizzie because she took him out and his mom even called her on weekends to see if she wanted to go out or clean the house. He talks about ‘My Lizzie’ fondly.
At the weekend, family and relatives often got together and enjoyed scones which his mom baked. (Now at 91 she makes pancakes.) Sometimes they invited friends over for snacks or had dad’s cousin over for lunch.
Traveling and Sports
He played soccer for Edgemead soccer club from 1976 to 1979, in defence position. From 1980 to 1985 he did karate. He reached green belt in 1984 and travelled for a karate tournament and went to Israel and Europe. He was lucky enough to see Zurich and Lucerne, and from there he travelled to London where he stayed with his uncle’s family. On the way back to SA they flew to Madrid where they stayed in a hotel and saw a bull fight, which he found gruesome. From Spain they came back to SA. In 1986 he left karate as he did not enjoy it anymore.
In 1981 he got involved in the railway society 1985/86. They started managing charter trains on behalf of Transnet and went to the following destinations for day trips; Franshoek, Darling, Hopefield, Calendon, Elgin, Riebeeck Wes, Ceres and Klein Plaasie in Worcester. He was a marshal, making sure people were safe which included making sure there was no excessive drinking etc. He also went to train meetings. Sometimes his dad went with him.
We met in 1992 and we went on a lot of these train trips and meetings together. On the 2nd of December 1992 we came back from a meeting to find out that his dad had passed away from a sudden heart attack. The trips lasted till 1995 when they came to an end and he and his friends left the society. He’s now been involved with Neighbourhood watch since 2015 which he thoroughly enjoys.
He played soccer for Edgemead soccer club from 1976 to 1979, in defence position. From 1980 to 1985 he did karate. He reached green belt in 1984 and travelled for a karate tournament and went to Israel and Europe. He was lucky enough to see Zurich and Lucerne, and from there he travelled to London where he stayed with his uncle’s family. On the way back to SA they flew to Madrid where they stayed in a hotel and saw a bull fight, which he found gruesome. From Spain they came back to SA. In 1986 he left karate as he did not enjoy it anymore.
In 1981 he got involved in the railway society 1985/86. They started managing charter trains on behalf of Transnet and went to the following destinations for day trips; Franshoek, Darling, Hopefield, Calendon, Elgin, Riebeeck Wes, Ceres and Klein Plaasie in Worcester. He was a marshal, making sure people were safe which included making sure there was no excessive drinking etc. He also went to train meetings. Sometimes his dad went with him.
We met in 1992 and we went on a lot of these train trips and meetings together. On the 2nd of December 1992 we came back from a meeting to find out that his dad had passed away from a sudden heart attack. The trips lasted till 1995 when they came to an end and he and his friends left the society. He’s now been involved with Neighbourhood watch since 2015 which he thoroughly enjoys.
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Work and Health
He left school in 1979 and started working on the 6/2/1980 at Cape Medical depot where he started as Storekeeper and got promoted to senior Storekeeper soon after. Later down the track he got promoted to Pharmacist assistant where he was in the Receiving unit most of the time, but sometimes also worked in Dispatch. He had a hernia operation in 2016 and took early retirement after 38 years of service at the age of 58 in 2018. Friends have asked, “what’s it like having your husband home all day.” Well, sometimes its fine and even helpful e.g. he can go shopping while I cook or clean or I can call him to help with something (especially now with my Frozen Shoulder) but other times I am happy if he goes on patrol or out somewhere. He’s always willing to help if I call him, which I am grateful for. I just wish he was handy though! |
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My 60th Birthday Celebration
Birthday Blessings While growing up, for our birthdays, my mom used to make our favourite food. After dinner we would have cake and that was that for most birthdays, besides gifts. My daughter on the other hand had many friends, so we would always have as many friends over to match her age e.g. 7 years 7 friends etc. Some birthdays that we had do stand out, e.g. for my 18th we had a party with friends. We also had a big party for my mom’s 53rd, which sadly also turned out to be her last. When I turned 40 I was running a small day-care from home and I gave the children a surprise birthday party. We also used to visit a children’s home and I also surprised those children with some party stuff and gave them a party. They quickly had a little meeting, put together a little song and dance and then performed for me. That was so special. Last year for my 60th I thought we could go up Table Mountain on the cable car (weather permitting) and then to ocean basket. My daughter had to work unfortunately, so hubby and I went alone up Table Mountain and it turned out to be the most glorious day. 
Surprise Party
I am a difficult person to surprise, I normally catch on to things, but this time I was fooled. When my daughter came back from work, she was exhausted and had a bath. She then got ready to go to Ocean Basket or so I thought, but she said we had to go to Nina first. When we got there, I was so surprised as my friends were there, and the place was beautifully decorated. She had arranged a surprise party. I was really touched. It was a different and beautiful party, most of them had made something symbolic, e.g. one friend thinks I am wise and give good advice, so she gave me a drawing of an owl with some beautiful words she wrote for me on the bottom. Her husband says I am strong in my beliefs and faith, so he gave me a rock with a G craved on it, and other symbolic gifts, which had taken time, effort and thought to make. I was made to stand in the middle and I was crowned. They all came up to me and presented their gifts and gave a blessing, by saying something nice about me. Friends who couldn’t make it invited me to their house for supper and I received more beautiful gifts. What touched me was how everyone had gone out of their way to find out what I like, e.g. candles, incense sticks, (all things I really love ) and how things had been personalised e.g. a mug with my photo on it. I am sentimental in that way, so I am blessed to have such caring and thoughtful people in my life. Hubby’s Birthday
In June this year, Karl (my husband) turned 60. My daughter upcycled the ornaments she had bought for my birthday. With him being on the neighbourhood watch, and can now patrol again, and with aunty Corona around, my first gift to him was a face-shield. (Not because we live in fear, but prevention is better than cure), and of course, it’s one of the latest fashion items. We sent him to the shop to buy his own cake while we decorated the lounge and set up a surprise birthday party. Others Of course there are others that stand out such as my daughters 21st. We were so broke I invited my family and asked them each to bring something. Her 23rd birthday braai, and many others. Looking forward to more in future. Happy Birthday and God bless. |
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The Parcel
Recently I wrote about my long-lost doll from my childhood days in Sicily, but for anyone that has not read it yet, here is a quick recap. I left it in Sicily when we immigrated to South Africa in 1964 and one of my great aunts kept it. Years later she sadly died, without having had any children. Her house was inherited by one of my cousin’s after she died and was left untouched until recently.
Last year, the family came across the doll that was in bad condition. As soon as they heard it was my doll from my childhood, my aunt (dad’s sister) decided to fix it and get it back to me. Following the doll’s repairs, my nephew Vinny (who lives in Australia) was going to send it when he went to Italy again however, with the pandemic and lockdown he was not able to go back and arrange for it to be sent to me. At that stage I had only seen photos of the doll and it was clear that many hours of love went into getting her back to her former glory.
Recently I wrote about my long-lost doll from my childhood days in Sicily, but for anyone that has not read it yet, here is a quick recap. I left it in Sicily when we immigrated to South Africa in 1964 and one of my great aunts kept it. Years later she sadly died, without having had any children. Her house was inherited by one of my cousin’s after she died and was left untouched until recently.
Last year, the family came across the doll that was in bad condition. As soon as they heard it was my doll from my childhood, my aunt (dad’s sister) decided to fix it and get it back to me. Following the doll’s repairs, my nephew Vinny (who lives in Australia) was going to send it when he went to Italy again however, with the pandemic and lockdown he was not able to go back and arrange for it to be sent to me. At that stage I had only seen photos of the doll and it was clear that many hours of love went into getting her back to her former glory.
Surprise
One day I got a message from my cousin Angelo in Sicily asking me to confirm my address. Not knowing how long lockdown will continue for, my 94-year-old aunt had thought of sending it via courier. A few days later I got a message from my nephew Sebastiano’s wife, saying the doll was in Rome (she works for the courier company and was tracking it). She said it would be here with a slight delay on the 4th of June because of limited flights. However, on the 2nd of June early in the morning the parcel arrived. I was really touched to unpack not just my doll, but also a cloth with Sicily, a packet of traditional Sicilian sweets, a fragrance candle, two hand-made doolies that my aunt had crocheted and a beautiful piece of embroidery she made of a Sicilian horse and cart. It’s amazing and a credit to her that at 94 she still sees well enough to do such beautiful needlework. |
Framing it
These are special gifts; I will frame the cloth of Sicily and the embroidery. The doll has a special place in my bedroom next to my husband’s bear he had as a child. I feel very blessed and loved that they went through all this trouble to repair the doll. Moreover, I am even more touched with the sentimental value they attached to it and their motivation to reunite me with my childhood doll. |
My Trip to Australia
In 2014 my nephew Vinny very generously offered me a trip to go see him and his family in Australia. I flew there via Dubai and enjoyed a free meal while waiting for the final plane.
On Arrival
On arrival, while waiting to go through border control, a big black sniffer dog decided to sniff me out of the line. I started talking to the dog while wondering what he was smelling. The man handling him was watching my reaction and asked, “Do you have dogs?” To which I replied, “yes, three.” I was told he was smelling my dogs from home, and I could continue through customs.
It took me forever to get my luggage, and in the meantime, my family started worrying that perhaps I got lost in Dubai or missed the flight. Finally, I found my luggage and got to them. We went home to Ryde, in Sydney, where I took a nice bath and slept for what felt like an eternity. After which I unpacked the gifts and we caught up.
In 2014 my nephew Vinny very generously offered me a trip to go see him and his family in Australia. I flew there via Dubai and enjoyed a free meal while waiting for the final plane.
On Arrival
On arrival, while waiting to go through border control, a big black sniffer dog decided to sniff me out of the line. I started talking to the dog while wondering what he was smelling. The man handling him was watching my reaction and asked, “Do you have dogs?” To which I replied, “yes, three.” I was told he was smelling my dogs from home, and I could continue through customs.
It took me forever to get my luggage, and in the meantime, my family started worrying that perhaps I got lost in Dubai or missed the flight. Finally, I found my luggage and got to them. We went home to Ryde, in Sydney, where I took a nice bath and slept for what felt like an eternity. After which I unpacked the gifts and we caught up.
They were the most gracious hosts; I felt so much at home, I could do anything. What impressed me was how similar the landscape is to South Africa, and yet how different the lifestyle is. My family there is by no means rich however, with their tax return, they were able to pay for my ticket and passport, spoil me while I was there, and write a letter that they would be able to support me for the three weeks that I was to be there. The letter was needed because we were so broke at the time; I went over without a penny and did not pay for anything.
It was also lovely to see Rainbow Lorikeets (Parrots) flying free and coming to feed in their backyard. Near the house there was a park or recreational grounds with trees and beautiful birds and little animals. I was also impressed by how safe the parks are for children and at most parks there were gas barbeques and designated picnic areas. I also noticed they are strict about security and safety, as a young child accidently dropped a glass bottle at the pool in Ryde, and immediately the lifeguards were around the glass making sure no one stepped on it. They even questioned her as glass was not allowed.
It was also lovely to see Rainbow Lorikeets (Parrots) flying free and coming to feed in their backyard. Near the house there was a park or recreational grounds with trees and beautiful birds and little animals. I was also impressed by how safe the parks are for children and at most parks there were gas barbeques and designated picnic areas. I also noticed they are strict about security and safety, as a young child accidently dropped a glass bottle at the pool in Ryde, and immediately the lifeguards were around the glass making sure no one stepped on it. They even questioned her as glass was not allowed.
During my stay, my little grandniece turned two and we had a lovely party at the house with my nephew’s in laws. A cousin also celebrated his birthday at a park in Neutral Bay, which was a lovely get together. In three weeks, I did not see any homeless people, not because they don’t exist, but because being a first world country, they are taken care off. Although, my nephew did not attend Mass, he graciously chauffeured me to church every Sunday. As I love water, we caught the ferry from circular quay in darling harbour to Manly which was very relaxing. We walked across the famous Sydney Harbour Bridge, went to the Opera House, ate out before I left, and bought gifts for everyone at Chinatown. As a parting gift my nephew took me to a clothing store to choose something. I was hesitant as they had already done so much, but my nephew insisted, so I choose a light grey jacket which I still have.
Grateful
I enjoyed every minute of my stay there. As a mom, I phoned home every day, even though my daughter was 18 and I knew she was able to take care of herself. I will be forever grateful. I am blessed to have such a loving nephew who has such a graceful and loving partner. I’ll be forever grateful.
Grateful
I enjoyed every minute of my stay there. As a mom, I phoned home every day, even though my daughter was 18 and I knew she was able to take care of herself. I will be forever grateful. I am blessed to have such a loving nephew who has such a graceful and loving partner. I’ll be forever grateful.
Father’s Day
Dad 7/7/1928 - 30/6/1992 (†)
As I did for Mother’s Day, I have also decided to do for Father’s Day, and share a bit about my dad.
He was born in Guardia, Sicily, the younger of two siblings. He lost his mom when he was 18 months old and his dad when he was 14. He lived partly by his nonna (granny) and partly at the convent where he went to school with monks. He applied for work as a barber as he used to cut the monks hair, which he learned from his father. His potential employer asked him to take a bucket and go wash a wall. He placed it under a running tap and walked away. After his father died in World War II, He successfully applied to re-open his dad’s barber shop which allowed him to earn a living and take care of himself and his sister. At school he achieved matric (or the equivalent thereof.) He later got a bursary to study hairdressing in Milan. While exploring in his spare time he visited Dervio in Lake Como where he met mom. Two years later they got married.
Dad 7/7/1928 - 30/6/1992 (†)
As I did for Mother’s Day, I have also decided to do for Father’s Day, and share a bit about my dad.
He was born in Guardia, Sicily, the younger of two siblings. He lost his mom when he was 18 months old and his dad when he was 14. He lived partly by his nonna (granny) and partly at the convent where he went to school with monks. He applied for work as a barber as he used to cut the monks hair, which he learned from his father. His potential employer asked him to take a bucket and go wash a wall. He placed it under a running tap and walked away. After his father died in World War II, He successfully applied to re-open his dad’s barber shop which allowed him to earn a living and take care of himself and his sister. At school he achieved matric (or the equivalent thereof.) He later got a bursary to study hairdressing in Milan. While exploring in his spare time he visited Dervio in Lake Como where he met mom. Two years later they got married.
Jack of all trades
Although he was a hairdresser and a barber by trade, he was also a Jack of all trades. People would call him to fix their appliances, for which he refused to take money. He made beautiful chandeliers for the house and many other things. He also had “out the box” ideas for recycling things e.g. a curtain rail became the top of a railway type gate for our driveway. I could give many other examples. He always wanted to learn new things. He did an art class and even a navigation course, as he was building a yacht and wanted to sail. Despite his poor English he managed to pass the courses.
He played piano accordion and used to play at weddings back in Sicily. He taught my brothers to play piano accordion and guitar. He used to make us kites and take us to fly them. Throughout the years he was also sickly with heart problems and had a valve put in at Groote Schuur hospital. He was extremely generous with his money even though he worked very hard. E.g. he paid for two of his aunts and one uncle to come visit us. He spoilt them with new clothes etc. He did not believe in being attached to material things, and just gave things away e.g. he used to go to the army base to cut people’s hair.
At the base he had bought a beautiful painting which hung in the lounge. Some visitors said they liked it, so he took it down and gave it to them. When he opened his salon in Bellville, he used to stay up late making posters to advertise and came up with all kinds of advertising ideas. However, for personal reasons he left the salon some years later, leaving it to two partners. He then opened a salon in Parow, where things did not go well, and he worked from 9am to 9pm.
After mom’s death dad deteriorated fast and sold the salon. He was bound to a wheelchair; sadly died in hospital. R.I.P dad.
Although he was a hairdresser and a barber by trade, he was also a Jack of all trades. People would call him to fix their appliances, for which he refused to take money. He made beautiful chandeliers for the house and many other things. He also had “out the box” ideas for recycling things e.g. a curtain rail became the top of a railway type gate for our driveway. I could give many other examples. He always wanted to learn new things. He did an art class and even a navigation course, as he was building a yacht and wanted to sail. Despite his poor English he managed to pass the courses.
He played piano accordion and used to play at weddings back in Sicily. He taught my brothers to play piano accordion and guitar. He used to make us kites and take us to fly them. Throughout the years he was also sickly with heart problems and had a valve put in at Groote Schuur hospital. He was extremely generous with his money even though he worked very hard. E.g. he paid for two of his aunts and one uncle to come visit us. He spoilt them with new clothes etc. He did not believe in being attached to material things, and just gave things away e.g. he used to go to the army base to cut people’s hair.
At the base he had bought a beautiful painting which hung in the lounge. Some visitors said they liked it, so he took it down and gave it to them. When he opened his salon in Bellville, he used to stay up late making posters to advertise and came up with all kinds of advertising ideas. However, for personal reasons he left the salon some years later, leaving it to two partners. He then opened a salon in Parow, where things did not go well, and he worked from 9am to 9pm.
After mom’s death dad deteriorated fast and sold the salon. He was bound to a wheelchair; sadly died in hospital. R.I.P dad.
Mother’s Day
As we approach Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a bit about my own mom, along with some poems I wrote for the cards I made to sell. With lockdown and loss of income I thought part of my sharing would be the poems, for anyone who would like to copy them to make their own cards. Mom 24/4/1935 - 29/4/ 1988 (†) Mom was the youngest of 3 sisters in Lake Como Italy, Dervio to be exact. Growing up, she was very much a free spirited, tomboyish type of girl. She went up to grade 5 (Quinta elementare), Which was normal in those days. Her passion was knitting, and she would make and sell things on the knitting machine my grandfather had bought for her. She was also excellent at knitting by hand and would recycle old wool to make new things. When she was young, she also worked as a maid for neighbours as the umbrella factory in Dervio where her sisters worked, was not hiring people when she left school. She met dad in 1957 and they married in 1959. She became a housewife and I remember holding wool and helping her pull old jerseys apart as she sorted out the wool to make new ones. When dad opened his salon in Bellville there was a little shop nearby that would buy some of her knitting. Mom loved animals and the birds would nest in the trees in our garden and allow her to see the babies. She was extremely sensitive, e.g. one day I had to vacuum the lounge but as she was speaking to the milkman I stood waiting for them to finish, only to get a mouthful when he left, because she said he was a poor man and asked if I was I trying to show off with what we have because we had more than him. She was also strict; my youngest brother often tells the story of when he faked to be sick one day to skip school. When my other brothers and I left for school, he wanted to get up, but mom made him stay in bed all day! If I spoke badly about anyone she’d tell me who was I to judge because I wasn’t and had never been in that person’s shoes. When dad opened his last salon in Parow, things didn’t go well as he was sickly. As a result, mom started going with him to help. She worked on the till and would wash people’s hair and help out where she could with the odd things. On the 29th of April 1988 as my parents were leaving the salon in the evening, a car came speeding along and hit her and she died instantly. Mom had an extremely high level of intuition. On her last day she was very happy and singing beautifully. My question is, did she feel or anticipate something? |
My poems
1st Poem You are a wonderful mother your smile is so bright, You love unconditionally morning, noon and night You listen and care you wipe away tears. Thank you for being our sweet mother dear. 2nd Poem To a mother so sweet so loving and caring Who shares her love and her time. Who gives of herself without tiring I am so glad that mother is mine. 3rd Poem A Mother is a shoulder to cry on. A friend to talk to Someone who always listens She’s patient kind and loving All this and so much more. Thank you, mom, for always doing your best. 4th Poem Mum you are a pillar of strength a tower of love A source of inspiration Everything a mother does is done with dedication. A mother helps us through our trials and all our tribulations We’re so lucky to be blessed with the best mum in the nation. Happy Mother’s Day & thank you for everything. 
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“Lost in Translation”
Language problems can be frustrating however, when you look back you can have a good laugh.
My mom used to tell a story about a time when she wanted to buy a broom, and my paternal auntie who had been in South Africa for a few years already, had told her it was called brush. So off she went asking the salespeople for a brush, and as you can imagine, they showed her all kinds of brushes. Eventually out of frustration, she ran out the shop, grabbed a broom out of a street sweeper’s hands and went back in with the poor guy behind her shouting, “madam my broom!!!”.
Another time, when I was 8 or 9 years old my mom woke us up late for school one morning. As we attended a catholic school (Nazareth House), she told us to tell the nun that the clock had stopped, and she hadn’t realised the time. As if the original message getting translated from a second language English speaker wasn’t bad enough, try getting a child to relay that message. The result was, “Mom said the clock went backwards”. Just imagine the look on the nun’s face!
Initially, my dad also didn’t have much luck in that department. He was a hairdresser and would often tell stories of getting into trouble at work. People would ask for a perm or a tint and he’d pick up a scissors to start cutting their hair instead.
“Reading helped”
Mom loved reading and started reading English as much as possible. She’d read romances and anything with pictures that she could find. Over the years she just about perfected her English. Poor dad was a talented man, but maybe not so much when it came to languages however, it did improve to a point where he could at least communicate. I also loved reading like mom. It was one of the subjects I was good at, and I feel this is what helped me with spelling over the years. Writing was of course more difficult for my parents as they needed help if they had to write anything down.
Language problems can be frustrating however, when you look back you can have a good laugh.
My mom used to tell a story about a time when she wanted to buy a broom, and my paternal auntie who had been in South Africa for a few years already, had told her it was called brush. So off she went asking the salespeople for a brush, and as you can imagine, they showed her all kinds of brushes. Eventually out of frustration, she ran out the shop, grabbed a broom out of a street sweeper’s hands and went back in with the poor guy behind her shouting, “madam my broom!!!”.
Another time, when I was 8 or 9 years old my mom woke us up late for school one morning. As we attended a catholic school (Nazareth House), she told us to tell the nun that the clock had stopped, and she hadn’t realised the time. As if the original message getting translated from a second language English speaker wasn’t bad enough, try getting a child to relay that message. The result was, “Mom said the clock went backwards”. Just imagine the look on the nun’s face!
Initially, my dad also didn’t have much luck in that department. He was a hairdresser and would often tell stories of getting into trouble at work. People would ask for a perm or a tint and he’d pick up a scissors to start cutting their hair instead.
“Reading helped”
Mom loved reading and started reading English as much as possible. She’d read romances and anything with pictures that she could find. Over the years she just about perfected her English. Poor dad was a talented man, but maybe not so much when it came to languages however, it did improve to a point where he could at least communicate. I also loved reading like mom. It was one of the subjects I was good at, and I feel this is what helped me with spelling over the years. Writing was of course more difficult for my parents as they needed help if they had to write anything down.
“Culture Differences”
Off course the culture was also different as suddenly we had to call all adults “aunties” and “uncles”. In Italy only true aunties and uncles were called that, other adults were addressed with Mr, Mrs or Miss. So as you can imagine, I was confused and kept asking mom where all these relatives were coming from, but I don’t think she knew how to answer. One day I went to the library and addressed a woman as “auntie.” Surprisingly, she gave me a mouthful, and said she was “coloured,” so I shouldn’t have called her auntie. Understandably, I had no idea what she was talking about, which resulted in me ending up even more confused than before. I’m not sure how old I was, but I couldn’t have been more than 10 years old. At this point, I didn’t know who to address as auntie and uncle, or when I’d get into trouble for doing so. I didn’t tell my parents because if I had done something wrong then I would have been in trouble at home as well.
“Not an issue”
In my family race was never an issue. No matter who visited us, we all sat at the same table and ate together. It didn’t matter if it was a just a visitor or someone who worked for us such as the gardener, the maid or a hairdresser at dad’s salon. Regardless of race, everybody was invited to our house at one point or another. In fact, people of all races came to offer their condolences when my parents passed away. My final thought is that we need to look beyond our cultural and linguistic differences in life. This could mean something as simple as just accepting or appreciating another person’s language or culture. Ultimately, our language and culture determine the way we see the world and is what makes every one of us unique. Keep laughing, keep smiling and thanks for reading. G
Off course the culture was also different as suddenly we had to call all adults “aunties” and “uncles”. In Italy only true aunties and uncles were called that, other adults were addressed with Mr, Mrs or Miss. So as you can imagine, I was confused and kept asking mom where all these relatives were coming from, but I don’t think she knew how to answer. One day I went to the library and addressed a woman as “auntie.” Surprisingly, she gave me a mouthful, and said she was “coloured,” so I shouldn’t have called her auntie. Understandably, I had no idea what she was talking about, which resulted in me ending up even more confused than before. I’m not sure how old I was, but I couldn’t have been more than 10 years old. At this point, I didn’t know who to address as auntie and uncle, or when I’d get into trouble for doing so. I didn’t tell my parents because if I had done something wrong then I would have been in trouble at home as well.
“Not an issue”
In my family race was never an issue. No matter who visited us, we all sat at the same table and ate together. It didn’t matter if it was a just a visitor or someone who worked for us such as the gardener, the maid or a hairdresser at dad’s salon. Regardless of race, everybody was invited to our house at one point or another. In fact, people of all races came to offer their condolences when my parents passed away. My final thought is that we need to look beyond our cultural and linguistic differences in life. This could mean something as simple as just accepting or appreciating another person’s language or culture. Ultimately, our language and culture determine the way we see the world and is what makes every one of us unique. Keep laughing, keep smiling and thanks for reading. G
“Baby brother”
April 1967: My mom went into hospital to have a baby. I already had 2 younger brothers and 2 older male cousins next door; it was time for a sister. However, when my mom phoned from the hospital, I was told that I had another baby brother instead.
“No Fair”
“A brother? Noooo, it just isn’t fair,” I said. I felt that the doctors had to change him for a girl, or why couldn’t the stork bring me a sister rather? (In those days we were told that the stork brought babies)
I was adamant that there were enough boys in the family already. I was the only girl and it just wasn’t fair. I don’t think she knew how to answer me because I just wasn’t calming down. Soon after, dad went to fetch her, and they came home with the new bundle of joy. I soon grew to love the new arrival, and I would even help mom with him. However, I still wanted a sister.
April 1967: My mom went into hospital to have a baby. I already had 2 younger brothers and 2 older male cousins next door; it was time for a sister. However, when my mom phoned from the hospital, I was told that I had another baby brother instead.
“No Fair”
“A brother? Noooo, it just isn’t fair,” I said. I felt that the doctors had to change him for a girl, or why couldn’t the stork bring me a sister rather? (In those days we were told that the stork brought babies)
I was adamant that there were enough boys in the family already. I was the only girl and it just wasn’t fair. I don’t think she knew how to answer me because I just wasn’t calming down. Soon after, dad went to fetch her, and they came home with the new bundle of joy. I soon grew to love the new arrival, and I would even help mom with him. However, I still wanted a sister.
“Baby cousin”
The following year my aunt next door gave birth to a little girl, finally there was another girl in the family. I spent as much time as I could by their house. If I couldn’t have a baby sister, then a cousin had to be the next best thing. Despite my sentiments towards my baby brother when he was a child, I rely on him a lot today. He helps me with repairs around the house and he is also generous with his time. (He is quite handy like my dad was, and like my other 2 brothers are, but unfortunately my husband is not). As for my cousin, she now lives in Sicily with her family. In short, I love my baby brother and I would not trade him for the world.
The following year my aunt next door gave birth to a little girl, finally there was another girl in the family. I spent as much time as I could by their house. If I couldn’t have a baby sister, then a cousin had to be the next best thing. Despite my sentiments towards my baby brother when he was a child, I rely on him a lot today. He helps me with repairs around the house and he is also generous with his time. (He is quite handy like my dad was, and like my other 2 brothers are, but unfortunately my husband is not). As for my cousin, she now lives in Sicily with her family. In short, I love my baby brother and I would not trade him for the world.
“My Doll”
We emigrated from Sicily in 1964, when I was 5 years old. After school I went back for 2 years, and my favourite great-aunt or “pro-zia” as we say in Italian, had a doll on the couch, nothing special just a toy. She told me that I had left it behind, and she’d kept it as a souvenir and given it my name -Grazia. Years later she died not having had any children.
“Inheritance”
One of my cousins inherited the house. Years later my nephew from Australia went to Italy, he visited the house with the intention of purchasing it to keep it in the family. He sent me photos and I asked if there was a doll, he said ‘’yes, but it was mouldy, dirty, naked and missing one leg’’. Nobody knew anything about it, so I told him the story. My cousin, who inherited the house decided to look for the leg, which she found.
My 93-year-old aunt in Sicily, which is my dad’s sister who moved to South Africa before us, made it her mission to fix, clean and clothe the doll in order to reunite it with me after all this time. Being a sentimental person with a heart of gold, she stopped at nothing less than making sure the leg functioned again like it did when I was a child. With the ordeal of the leg out the way, she even went as far as knitting an outfit for the doll. The doll is now ready to go and is awaiting my nephew’s next visit to Italy for it to be shipped back to me.
We emigrated from Sicily in 1964, when I was 5 years old. After school I went back for 2 years, and my favourite great-aunt or “pro-zia” as we say in Italian, had a doll on the couch, nothing special just a toy. She told me that I had left it behind, and she’d kept it as a souvenir and given it my name -Grazia. Years later she died not having had any children.
“Inheritance”
One of my cousins inherited the house. Years later my nephew from Australia went to Italy, he visited the house with the intention of purchasing it to keep it in the family. He sent me photos and I asked if there was a doll, he said ‘’yes, but it was mouldy, dirty, naked and missing one leg’’. Nobody knew anything about it, so I told him the story. My cousin, who inherited the house decided to look for the leg, which she found.
My 93-year-old aunt in Sicily, which is my dad’s sister who moved to South Africa before us, made it her mission to fix, clean and clothe the doll in order to reunite it with me after all this time. Being a sentimental person with a heart of gold, she stopped at nothing less than making sure the leg functioned again like it did when I was a child. With the ordeal of the leg out the way, she even went as far as knitting an outfit for the doll. The doll is now ready to go and is awaiting my nephew’s next visit to Italy for it to be shipped back to me.
“Can’t go now”
Unfortunately, though, due to the current world-wide crisis that COVID-19 is causing, I may have to wait a while longer to see the doll in person again. The doll is waiting, and hopefully after everything settles, he’ll be able to go again, and my aunt will have the satisfaction of knowing I have received it. I would have totally understood if they had thrown it away, after all, it is just a toy…..expect for the sentimental value they attached to it, which makes me feel loved and special.
In short, this story proves that objects can be lost or misplaced, and memories can gradually grow faint, but sentimental value itself is timeless, and it has the ability to create comfort when least expected. The “doll”, well Grazia ‘’Junior’’ lives on.
Thanks for reading
Grazia ‘’Senior’’
Unfortunately, though, due to the current world-wide crisis that COVID-19 is causing, I may have to wait a while longer to see the doll in person again. The doll is waiting, and hopefully after everything settles, he’ll be able to go again, and my aunt will have the satisfaction of knowing I have received it. I would have totally understood if they had thrown it away, after all, it is just a toy…..expect for the sentimental value they attached to it, which makes me feel loved and special.
In short, this story proves that objects can be lost or misplaced, and memories can gradually grow faint, but sentimental value itself is timeless, and it has the ability to create comfort when least expected. The “doll”, well Grazia ‘’Junior’’ lives on.
Thanks for reading
Grazia ‘’Senior’’
My Christmas Memories
The first time I met Santa was on the ship when we immigrated to South Africa with my parents and two younger brothers, from Sicily. We did not write letters in those days and I don’t remember what we got but we were happy with what Santa gave us.
When we arrived we lived in Devil’s Peak and mom told us he was coming and showed us his sleigh coming along Table Mountain (the imagination went wild and we could see the sleigh in the clouds). In preparation for Santa’s arrival mom put out serviettes on the dining room table with each of our names on them for the gifts. We were told that we had to be asleep otherwise he wouldn’t visit. I recall being in bed that first Christmas eve and hearing a noise and I remember thinking “its Santa I must sleep” (I must have fallen asleep immediately I don’t remember anything else after that). On that Christmas morning I remember waking up early and finding a doll by my serviette on the table. I got very excited but everyone else was still sleeping so mom told me to go back to bed or Santa would take the doll away.
A few years later we moved to Vredhoek there I remember a whole Christmas scene with cable car going up and down it and dolls dressed as Mary and baby Jesus. It was set on a large plank in the corner of the lounge. We were told that Santa had a sweet tooth, so we left out chocolates and sweets etc. Even hanging them on the tree and the next morning they were gone. My eldest cousin Santo played Santa for all the little Italian children. I remember getting a little basket with 3 lemon shaped soaps from him. (It’s crazy how I believed in Santa despite the fact that I knew it was him.) In all the big stores there were different Santa’s, mom would take us to at least 1 of them to get a lucky packet.
When we lived in Sanddrift we decorated a tree in our garden. By this time I was in my teens and we always had people over for lunch. One of the families that always came over for Christmas had 2 little boys and mom would buy a set of cars for them. She would take them out the package and give them one each. Sometimes we went to midnight Mass but dad wasn’t really a church goer so if he didn’t join us we would go during the day instead. (Mostly mom and I).
The first time I met Santa was on the ship when we immigrated to South Africa with my parents and two younger brothers, from Sicily. We did not write letters in those days and I don’t remember what we got but we were happy with what Santa gave us.
When we arrived we lived in Devil’s Peak and mom told us he was coming and showed us his sleigh coming along Table Mountain (the imagination went wild and we could see the sleigh in the clouds). In preparation for Santa’s arrival mom put out serviettes on the dining room table with each of our names on them for the gifts. We were told that we had to be asleep otherwise he wouldn’t visit. I recall being in bed that first Christmas eve and hearing a noise and I remember thinking “its Santa I must sleep” (I must have fallen asleep immediately I don’t remember anything else after that). On that Christmas morning I remember waking up early and finding a doll by my serviette on the table. I got very excited but everyone else was still sleeping so mom told me to go back to bed or Santa would take the doll away.
A few years later we moved to Vredhoek there I remember a whole Christmas scene with cable car going up and down it and dolls dressed as Mary and baby Jesus. It was set on a large plank in the corner of the lounge. We were told that Santa had a sweet tooth, so we left out chocolates and sweets etc. Even hanging them on the tree and the next morning they were gone. My eldest cousin Santo played Santa for all the little Italian children. I remember getting a little basket with 3 lemon shaped soaps from him. (It’s crazy how I believed in Santa despite the fact that I knew it was him.) In all the big stores there were different Santa’s, mom would take us to at least 1 of them to get a lucky packet.
When we lived in Sanddrift we decorated a tree in our garden. By this time I was in my teens and we always had people over for lunch. One of the families that always came over for Christmas had 2 little boys and mom would buy a set of cars for them. She would take them out the package and give them one each. Sometimes we went to midnight Mass but dad wasn’t really a church goer so if he didn’t join us we would go during the day instead. (Mostly mom and I).
My thoughts about Christmas as an adult
I feel that Christmas gifts should be small and significant (leave bigger gifts for birthdays). I say this because how do children feel when Santa gives them a cheap toy or just a few sweets and their friend gets a bicycle or an Xbox? Also don’t splash out too much because you must still live after Christmas. And with big expensive gifts it becomes more about that then the birth of Jesus the highlight for me has been midnight mass. When my daughter was little I ran a small day care from home and used to involve the children in making the decorations. Not only is this a good way to keep them busy, but it also made them proud of what they accomplished. It’s also a good way to bond with children while you teach them to be creative. For inspiration I used to get library books, but of course you can also do a quick google search for ideas.
We also made our own wreath every year now we have two made out of an old Christmas tree one for hangs on the door while the other is on a table.
In Italy traditionally we have “La Befana” an old woman that comes around on the ephiany (7 January) looking for baby Jesus to deliver gifts …..Hope you enjoyed reading my story.
I feel that Christmas gifts should be small and significant (leave bigger gifts for birthdays). I say this because how do children feel when Santa gives them a cheap toy or just a few sweets and their friend gets a bicycle or an Xbox? Also don’t splash out too much because you must still live after Christmas. And with big expensive gifts it becomes more about that then the birth of Jesus the highlight for me has been midnight mass. When my daughter was little I ran a small day care from home and used to involve the children in making the decorations. Not only is this a good way to keep them busy, but it also made them proud of what they accomplished. It’s also a good way to bond with children while you teach them to be creative. For inspiration I used to get library books, but of course you can also do a quick google search for ideas.
We also made our own wreath every year now we have two made out of an old Christmas tree one for hangs on the door while the other is on a table.
In Italy traditionally we have “La Befana” an old woman that comes around on the ephiany (7 January) looking for baby Jesus to deliver gifts …..Hope you enjoyed reading my story.
Just my thoughts
I have a religion (Catholic) and also believe in spirituality. For me the most important thing is love (for humankind, the universe etc.…..) and non-judgement. We should see the good in all religions and what we can learn from it.
I’ve been helped a lot by spiritual healers, as well as prayers. After all we all ask a Higher Power/Higher Deity/God for the healing or whatever we praying /asking for; it’s done through us not by us. I say the rosary every day and often see it in my meditation. In one of the meditations I saw a crystal rosary laid out open on the ground with a with a crystal pearl in the centre of it….and my interpretation is that Mother Mary (whom I have always been close to) will lead /is leading me on my spiritual path.
It’s sad that religions people don’t understand spirituality (and are even against it and spiritual people are against religion). Some had a religion and left it. Do they feel they have to be on one side or the other?
I feel spirituality and religion go together and I belong to bot. If only we could come together and discuss and try to understand each other without judgement and work together for the good of mankind; the world would be a wonderful place. All types of religion basically teach us to do good.
At the monthly angel service a lady commented that religions basically teach us to do unto others as we want others to do unto us.
Would love to hear from anyone else who feels they fit into both as well.
I have a religion (Catholic) and also believe in spirituality. For me the most important thing is love (for humankind, the universe etc.…..) and non-judgement. We should see the good in all religions and what we can learn from it.
I’ve been helped a lot by spiritual healers, as well as prayers. After all we all ask a Higher Power/Higher Deity/God for the healing or whatever we praying /asking for; it’s done through us not by us. I say the rosary every day and often see it in my meditation. In one of the meditations I saw a crystal rosary laid out open on the ground with a with a crystal pearl in the centre of it….and my interpretation is that Mother Mary (whom I have always been close to) will lead /is leading me on my spiritual path.
It’s sad that religions people don’t understand spirituality (and are even against it and spiritual people are against religion). Some had a religion and left it. Do they feel they have to be on one side or the other?
I feel spirituality and religion go together and I belong to bot. If only we could come together and discuss and try to understand each other without judgement and work together for the good of mankind; the world would be a wonderful place. All types of religion basically teach us to do good.
At the monthly angel service a lady commented that religions basically teach us to do unto others as we want others to do unto us.
Would love to hear from anyone else who feels they fit into both as well.
Teddy
Way back in 2004, for my daughter’s 9th birthday she wanted a puppy. Luckily just around the corner from us a little dog had a litter looking for new homes. Hubby and Eldoray sneaked off to choose a puppy. She returned full of smiles that melted my heart with a little golden puppy. The most obvious name was Teddy.
Getting adjusted took a bit of time, and eventually we had peace at home as Teddy and Felix (our cat), became best friends. Daily you would see them chasing each other around the garden and sleeping snug together in bed. Every morning, Teddy would ensure that Eldoray woke up in time. I simply said “Teddy do your duty” and she would immediately bounce all over and lick Eldoray’s face, just to ensure she would get up.
Somewhere in 2005, Teddy fell in love with a male poodle and graced us with her own litter. A proud and determine dog, Teddy insisted the best spot for her babies was my wardrobe. With a warm blanket and big crate, my wardrobe became the maternity ward. In the late afternoon, Teddy gave birth to 4 adorable little pups, she required a bit of assistance with the forth pup). Just like all good mothers, Teddy was protective of her little baby, and would sometimes push the others away and only allow this weaker little pup to feed. Teddy would fiercely guard the bedroom door whenever visitors came near. At supper time, Teddy would inspect the home cooked human food. She would remove all traces of onions from the bowl before allowing her pups to feed. Later I learned that onions are bad for dogs. We are always learning.
Way back in 2004, for my daughter’s 9th birthday she wanted a puppy. Luckily just around the corner from us a little dog had a litter looking for new homes. Hubby and Eldoray sneaked off to choose a puppy. She returned full of smiles that melted my heart with a little golden puppy. The most obvious name was Teddy.
Getting adjusted took a bit of time, and eventually we had peace at home as Teddy and Felix (our cat), became best friends. Daily you would see them chasing each other around the garden and sleeping snug together in bed. Every morning, Teddy would ensure that Eldoray woke up in time. I simply said “Teddy do your duty” and she would immediately bounce all over and lick Eldoray’s face, just to ensure she would get up.
Somewhere in 2005, Teddy fell in love with a male poodle and graced us with her own litter. A proud and determine dog, Teddy insisted the best spot for her babies was my wardrobe. With a warm blanket and big crate, my wardrobe became the maternity ward. In the late afternoon, Teddy gave birth to 4 adorable little pups, she required a bit of assistance with the forth pup). Just like all good mothers, Teddy was protective of her little baby, and would sometimes push the others away and only allow this weaker little pup to feed. Teddy would fiercely guard the bedroom door whenever visitors came near. At supper time, Teddy would inspect the home cooked human food. She would remove all traces of onions from the bowl before allowing her pups to feed. Later I learned that onions are bad for dogs. We are always learning.
Teddy was always near her babies and a very good mother to them. As to be expected, her babies did find new homes. Two of her daughters went to a forever home to our other neighbours. Teddy build an excellent relationship with them, as they would visit each other and play together. The daily visits continued until the neighbour moved.
As the years went by, Teddy grew old, and slowly lost her sight and a huge amount of weight. I was terrified of visiting the vet, as I did not want to hear the obvious solution. I would rather sit quietly, rubbing and chatting calmly with her. Daily, one could see the growth in her neck growing bigger and bigger, eventually, she could no longer bark nor make any sound. Teddy smelt like death. I could not face it (am in tears even as I write).
Fortunately, we met a lady who feels animals pain. We invited her to our home to see Teddy. She gently stroked Teddy and felt her hand burning, the heat was intense. She said the unavoidable, the unthinkable. What we did not want to hear.
That night, I dreamt that Teddy was upset and running around with her son, Strippy, in a beautiful field filled with flowers……………
RIP Teddy, you still live in our hearts and will always be remembered
As the years went by, Teddy grew old, and slowly lost her sight and a huge amount of weight. I was terrified of visiting the vet, as I did not want to hear the obvious solution. I would rather sit quietly, rubbing and chatting calmly with her. Daily, one could see the growth in her neck growing bigger and bigger, eventually, she could no longer bark nor make any sound. Teddy smelt like death. I could not face it (am in tears even as I write).
Fortunately, we met a lady who feels animals pain. We invited her to our home to see Teddy. She gently stroked Teddy and felt her hand burning, the heat was intense. She said the unavoidable, the unthinkable. What we did not want to hear.
That night, I dreamt that Teddy was upset and running around with her son, Strippy, in a beautiful field filled with flowers……………
RIP Teddy, you still live in our hearts and will always be remembered
Cat Healings and Other Healings
I won a healing for Felix (my 17yr old cat) with Heidi (Animal Communicator also known as the Dog Lady). This was a distance healing…..I send her photos on WhatsApp. Felix had bloodshot eyes and what looked like a blood tear, Heidi did her magic and everything is now clear and gone. Heidi recommended a diet for all my pets, today even my 15 year old dog is healthy and very active.
After a short conversation with Denver at the Holistic Fayre we decided I needed a shiatsu healing. The results are astronomical, I am a lot more decisive since then. I can’t explain how these healings work but they are powerful and they work. I used to get pains in my head (but they weren’t headaches so I always blamed the cold) Today they are gone. I think it’s through things going wrong that we become unsure and start doubting myself to the point that I become indecisive.
I have also had some energy healings with Luanda (she’s learning till the end of the year and practises when she gets a chance). She also picked up a lot and will definitely be a powerful healer. She does distance healing as well if she can’t see you.
Soul drawing
Last year (2018 August) I had a soul drawing done for myself and my daughter (as it’s our birthday month). Priscilla told me I will see the growth in a years’ time well this year I had it done again and the difference was tremendous. We showed Priscilla last year’s one after she finished the new one (She doesn’t want to see it before).
The colours each stand for different things. What amazed me was how my daughter understood the difference even before Priscilla explained the drawings, she’s very spiritual. Her soul drawing showed growth as well.
What Priscilla picked up was amazing in the first drawing she picked up I am Catholic and close to Mother Mary and in the second drawing that I had been through a lot lately…..this shows in the shadow on the drawing….and she picked up a lot about my daughter as well.
I am truly blessed to have my daughter in my life. For my 60th birthday she gave me a wonderful surprise party at Nina’s house. Some of you may have seen the photos on Facebook or WhatsApp.
I won a healing for Felix (my 17yr old cat) with Heidi (Animal Communicator also known as the Dog Lady). This was a distance healing…..I send her photos on WhatsApp. Felix had bloodshot eyes and what looked like a blood tear, Heidi did her magic and everything is now clear and gone. Heidi recommended a diet for all my pets, today even my 15 year old dog is healthy and very active.
After a short conversation with Denver at the Holistic Fayre we decided I needed a shiatsu healing. The results are astronomical, I am a lot more decisive since then. I can’t explain how these healings work but they are powerful and they work. I used to get pains in my head (but they weren’t headaches so I always blamed the cold) Today they are gone. I think it’s through things going wrong that we become unsure and start doubting myself to the point that I become indecisive.
I have also had some energy healings with Luanda (she’s learning till the end of the year and practises when she gets a chance). She also picked up a lot and will definitely be a powerful healer. She does distance healing as well if she can’t see you.
Soul drawing
Last year (2018 August) I had a soul drawing done for myself and my daughter (as it’s our birthday month). Priscilla told me I will see the growth in a years’ time well this year I had it done again and the difference was tremendous. We showed Priscilla last year’s one after she finished the new one (She doesn’t want to see it before).
The colours each stand for different things. What amazed me was how my daughter understood the difference even before Priscilla explained the drawings, she’s very spiritual. Her soul drawing showed growth as well.
What Priscilla picked up was amazing in the first drawing she picked up I am Catholic and close to Mother Mary and in the second drawing that I had been through a lot lately…..this shows in the shadow on the drawing….and she picked up a lot about my daughter as well.
I am truly blessed to have my daughter in my life. For my 60th birthday she gave me a wonderful surprise party at Nina’s house. Some of you may have seen the photos on Facebook or WhatsApp.
Our Experience as Foster Parents
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Learning from others….
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
I’d love to hear from other parents of foster or adopted children of any age. When she was younger the social workers used to hold meetings for foster parents but they so overworked….and every couple of years we had a different social worker (I don’t even know how many we had over the years).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
My Personal Journey
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
This all started for me when I was put in touch with Nina (the lady who runs the Fayre). Our families had known each other for many years and had lost touch. My nephew put me in touch with her again. I started attending Angel Service every 1st Sunday of the month and at the first service (during meditation) I was presented with a key. I didn’t understand what this key was about till I dreamt about a lot of doors opening and becoming one door. I mistakenly thought it was doors opening for my daughter, only to discover later that the messages and “gifts” we receive is for yourself. That meant that the doors were opening for me.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
PS: A lot of people have asked what’s an angel service? Well it’s not religion it’s for anyone who believes in angels or wants to know more about them. Personally I believe they’re God’s messengers and it’s something that can unite us all because they in all the bibles. We always start with the Lords pray…….
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Letting Go
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
If you have children or are in charge of any young people find what they good at and help them develop their talents. If you didn’t get that from your parents, teachers or guardians give it to yourself.
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
So once we have seeked, found and knocked written, shouted maybe even used a punching bag, spoken to a pastor, priest or best friend maybe even had counselling but is it enough? Well not always.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
