Grazia Martienssen
Our Experience as Foster Parents
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Thank you
Let me start by thanking everyone that has commented on my writing;
Tina says I am sure your writing will comfort someone. “You’re writing is good.” Thank you Tina.
Vinny says “Tip top writing there well done. Wow very good writing.” Thank you Vinny.
Ingrid says “Please keep writing” Thank you Ingrid.
Tumi finds my writing comforting; thank you Tumi.
Nina says what makes my writing special is that I write from the heart and soul. Thank you Nina
Learning from others….
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
Yes I do in the hope it can inspire, or help someone in some way. I share as much as I am comfortable sharing when I feel the time is right to share those experiences. I also get inspired by other writers of course and learn things from them.
Let me give you an example: A lady wrote about keeping a gratitude journal as it opens the heart charka so that made me start. Once I understood the importance of it and she’s right it makes a difference.
I also learn from my 23 yr. old daughter. Where her wisdom comes from I don’t know. I wish I had that much wisdom at her age. But like all moms or most, there are also things that worry me at times. Which brings me to the point that someone once said to me that my daughter had never known a mother’s love (because we took her into foster care when she was 5 yrs. old ).
That comment cut through me like a knife, nothing could be further from the truth. As my dad used to say when someone speaks, we must not only take what they say but also consider who’s saying it.
When I got to know the person better I understood more as to why she’d make such a comment. I think if we are truly free and know our own truth, nasty comments will not bother us.
Something I learnt from my daughter. (I did make mistakes that were made out of love and there were times I wish she’d come with a manual…).
I’d love to hear from other parents of foster or adopted children of any age. When she was younger the social workers used to hold meetings for foster parents but they so overworked….and every couple of years we had a different social worker (I don’t even know how many we had over the years).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
Fostering a child across the colour line has shown that racism is alive and well. Not everyone in the family accepts her and that’s so sad…..and when people say we have to understand because they grew up in the apartheid times and are old my reply is that because they old they also had time to grow a heart; after all they church goers and claim to be Christians.
Then you get people that ask was she my little girl ….my answer used to be yes especially if they ask in front of her as a child…..
Then there those that ask what the story was in front of her and be offended if I told them it was none of their business. My daughter didn’t need to relive her history by hearing me or anyone else talk about it.
Can people not use discretion and at least not ask in front of the child? (I gave them an earful when she was not around).
As caring people let’s use discretion as children take note of things more then we realise. When she started going to school the children used to look at us and ask are these your parents? She didn’t know how to answer. I would gentle tell her to say she was adopted (she didn’t understand the word foster care).
Sometimes she would proudly hold her head up high and announce “This is the family God gave me”
As expected some family and friends welcomed her immediately as part of the family and we very grateful for those people.
Fostering my daughter was the best decision we ever made.
Prior to fostering, she would visit regularly. My heart sang when my beautiful daughter announced "Ek wil hier bly"’ (I want to stay here).
My Personal Journey
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
As promised I’ve been going to Ingrid for a healing called Access Bars. After the healing I drew an angel or flower card and the card I drew was sacred geometry. (My understanding of sacred geometry is that’s it’s about how everything is connected /or how patterns are connected in nature it looks like perfection to me. I came to this conclusion by looking it up and especially when I saw sacred geometry flower).
At the Holistic Fayre in Bothasig I found myself talking to one of the ladies that does meditation with me on a Tuesday evening and she told me about a Vortex reading she had and asked me to just walk past and see what the lady does. But when I got to her table she wasn’t there and for some reason I waited for her then asked her about it.
She said it had to do with sacred geometry I couldn’t believe my ears, so I had a reading and healing with her. (She just did both without me even asking her to). Again it was amazing what this healer/reader picked up.
Christians are always advising not to go for readings etc. Well I am Christian, a Catholic to be exact, when I am sick I still go to the doctor and I believe in keeping an open mind. There are however readings I wouldn’t go for, especially where I feel uncomfortable.
This all started for me when I was put in touch with Nina (the lady who runs the Fayre). Our families had known each other for many years and had lost touch. My nephew put me in touch with her again. I started attending Angel Service every 1st Sunday of the month and at the first service (during meditation) I was presented with a key. I didn’t understand what this key was about till I dreamt about a lot of doors opening and becoming one door. I mistakenly thought it was doors opening for my daughter, only to discover later that the messages and “gifts” we receive is for yourself. That meant that the doors were opening for me.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
Before I knew it, I was a regular visitor at the Holistic Fayre where I met various readers and healers. I started attending a few workshops that interested me. The first ever workshop I attended was vision board making.
I just took a peep at the first board I made; one of the things I put on there was a sign saying “write now” and here I am writing This was something I was good at in my school days but lack of confidence kept me from doing it because I didn’t matriculate and thought my grammar would be wrong, or the comas would be in the wrong place etc. again fear held me back.
PS: A lot of people have asked what’s an angel service? Well it’s not religion it’s for anyone who believes in angels or wants to know more about them. Personally I believe they’re God’s messengers and it’s something that can unite us all because they in all the bibles. We always start with the Lords pray…….
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Anger
What Loraine (the vortex reader) picked up was anger that was the card that came up for me from a deck called soulful woman (but anger I feel is also an expression of hurt, frustration etc. that manifests as anger).
Now, you might ask what was I so angry about? Well just my situation of feeling like a failure, all the blockages etc. Anger in itself isn’t bad though it depends what we do with it. Loraine advised me to start tapping (I googled it and started tapping into my anger). Wow tapping is powerful. Try it (you can tap for anxiety or various reasons) you’ll feel much lighter after you tap into whatever you may need to do it for.
In all the readings I received, the same message keeps repeating itself. The message is always the same “I am becoming who/what I am meant to be (my growth)”.
Letting Go
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
Seek and you shall find so let’s seek the healing we need. We all need some kind of healing at some stage of our lives. We must know what we want in life before we can achieve it. If we confused we may need healing to clear our minds .Let go of things to move on. This doesn’t mean we forget but don’t let the past hold us back. We have to learn to love ourselves and get rid of the fear.
Fear holds us back! Makes us find excuses why we can’t do things. Let’s not get to the end of our lives and regret all the things we didn’t do because of fear. Let’s not wake up one day and realise we didn’t fulfil our dreams cos we wasted time on things that don’t benefit our lives.
Fear can also make us do the wrong things…… Let it go use your talents don’t waste them live your life. Switch off social media and the TV and learn as much as you can to benefit your own life. Believe in yourself.
If you have children or are in charge of any young people find what they good at and help them develop their talents. If you didn’t get that from your parents, teachers or guardians give it to yourself.
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
Knock and it shall be opened unto you. So once you have seeked, you have found you have to go inside and do something about your pain and fear. Acknowledge it shed tears, write, speak, shout, do whatever you need to do. Trust yourself. Your higher self knows how much you can handle and let go of at any time.
Take the lessons and let the rest. Acknowledge your own mistakes (unless you were a child in which case you were responsible for anything that happened). Which brings me to the point that we should also be careful what we say especially around children, as they have a tendency to take the blame for things and believe every word or can have their own interpretation of what they hear.
I grew up hearing that I had killed some uncle from fright (for driving some little car too fast which is another story) When I was 5 or younger so my understanding was that I had given him a heart attack. So I grew up feeling guilty every time someone died (even though I had forgotten this story or maybe blocked it. This guilt went on till I was in my 40s). Until in writing everything I felt down I remembered connected the dots and spoke to my inner child helping her get rid of the guilt. Fear can also let us hold on to things (and even people that are toxic for us) Cos as the saying goes better the devil we know. Well what if we let go of the devil and there’s an angel waiting for us?
So once we have seeked, found and knocked written, shouted maybe even used a punching bag, spoken to a pastor, priest or best friend maybe even had counselling but is it enough? Well not always.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
We may also need some holistic healing as things from the womb can affect us in ways we don’t even know about. (This is something I learned recently during a healing session called: Access Bars with a healer called Ingrid). It’s amazing what healers pick up and the stuff you remember that you thought you had let go of that’s causing blockages in your life and holding you back.
I also go for meditation every Tuesday evening the benefits are amazing…..and you see and hear how the others are improving their lives through it as well. Find a healer or healers that give you a good vibe and that you comfortable with, as well as the type of healing you comfortable receiving.
