Michael Edward Bradford
The Fear of Starting
Oh, I remember the times – there were so many times when I sat paralysed with fear
Afraid of making mistakes – afraid of doing it wrong – afraid of risking
Yet each time, as I moved into action rather than just mentally and emotionally spinning
As I physically moved, starting the journey, everything became easier – almost enjoyable
Why was it that before the actual physical movement I felt so scared?
Why was it that I felt so reluctant? Why did I hesitate?
They say each journey starts with a single step into the unknown
And yet this first step always seemed the hardest, the most difficult.
Why did I fear this first step so much? Was it because I had no guarantees?
Was it because I wanted everything to be perfect?
Was it because I wanted to look good and be in control?
Or was it because I never wanted to make a mistake?
Oh, I remember the times – there were so many times when I sat paralysed with fear
Afraid of making mistakes – afraid of doing it wrong – afraid of risking
Yet each time, as I moved into action rather than just mentally and emotionally spinning
As I physically moved, starting the journey, everything became easier – almost enjoyable
Why was it that before the actual physical movement I felt so scared?
Why was it that I felt so reluctant? Why did I hesitate?
They say each journey starts with a single step into the unknown
And yet this first step always seemed the hardest, the most difficult.
Why did I fear this first step so much? Was it because I had no guarantees?
Was it because I wanted everything to be perfect?
Was it because I wanted to look good and be in control?
Or was it because I never wanted to make a mistake?
I remember when I headed north to Canada and Alaska in 1986 – I was scared
It was big for me to travel alone from Palm Springs, California to almost the Arctic Circle
It was big for me to travel with limited funds and trust that I would be OK!
I remember the day as I sat in Canada debating whether to continue northward or to return south.
My money was low, my car was old and I was scared and confused
How could I continue? How could I afford it? How could I survive?
And yet I knew that I might never have an opportunity like this again.
I might never have the unrestricted time, the luxury of waking each morning and following my heart.
And I remember taking a deep breath, mustering up all my courage and choosing to continue my journey northward
Looking back, I know that I did the right thing. I know I was supported along the way.
I remember the man who helped me to install a new clutch on my Subaru – at no charge except for the parts
I remember the Doctor who hired me as a consultant – paying me and giving me a place to live
It was big for me to travel alone from Palm Springs, California to almost the Arctic Circle
It was big for me to travel with limited funds and trust that I would be OK!
I remember the day as I sat in Canada debating whether to continue northward or to return south.
My money was low, my car was old and I was scared and confused
How could I continue? How could I afford it? How could I survive?
And yet I knew that I might never have an opportunity like this again.
I might never have the unrestricted time, the luxury of waking each morning and following my heart.
And I remember taking a deep breath, mustering up all my courage and choosing to continue my journey northward
Looking back, I know that I did the right thing. I know I was supported along the way.
I remember the man who helped me to install a new clutch on my Subaru – at no charge except for the parts
I remember the Doctor who hired me as a consultant – paying me and giving me a place to live
Why when I always know that I am being guided do I doubt and resist?
Why when I have so much faith and courage for others – do I doubt it for myself?
Why when I face something new do I go through the same boring cycle once again?
Why do I procrastinate and doubt the support that has, and always will, be there?
My heart is filled with awe as I look back over my life and acknowledge the support
The doors have always opened for me – my path has always been made clear
And yes, when the road has been bumpy, if I am truthful, I must admit
It has usually been because I was in resistance to change, to love, to support and to receiving
Thank you great ones for all that you have and always are giving me!
Why when I have so much faith and courage for others – do I doubt it for myself?
Why when I face something new do I go through the same boring cycle once again?
Why do I procrastinate and doubt the support that has, and always will, be there?
My heart is filled with awe as I look back over my life and acknowledge the support
The doors have always opened for me – my path has always been made clear
And yes, when the road has been bumpy, if I am truthful, I must admit
It has usually been because I was in resistance to change, to love, to support and to receiving
Thank you great ones for all that you have and always are giving me!
The Fellow Traveller
Last week I met a fellow traveller, or that is who and what she seemed to be,
Her eyes were soft, yet knowing, her touch warm, soothing, comforting,
There was no anger, no seeking of power or control, only of being and serving,
All I could feel was her warmth, her presence and our deep connection.
How often do we seek, yearn, crave the warmth, connection and understanding
Of our parents, our brothers and sisters, our clan, our community, of a friend
Yet somehow, often, this connection is lost, missing, distorted, twisted or unsafe,
Leaving us seeking, searching, hungry, lonely, longing for this deep connection.
During my workshops, I do my best to create this energy of safety, of caring
Yet it is for others that I do this, standing guard duty over the people, the energy,
Standing guard duty over their painful memories and the voices in their heads,
While doing this, I am often on the outside, watching, encouraging, supporting.
Last week I met a fellow traveller, or that is who and what she seemed to be,
Her eyes were soft, yet knowing, her touch warm, soothing, comforting,
There was no anger, no seeking of power or control, only of being and serving,
All I could feel was her warmth, her presence and our deep connection.
How often do we seek, yearn, crave the warmth, connection and understanding
Of our parents, our brothers and sisters, our clan, our community, of a friend
Yet somehow, often, this connection is lost, missing, distorted, twisted or unsafe,
Leaving us seeking, searching, hungry, lonely, longing for this deep connection.
During my workshops, I do my best to create this energy of safety, of caring
Yet it is for others that I do this, standing guard duty over the people, the energy,
Standing guard duty over their painful memories and the voices in their heads,
While doing this, I am often on the outside, watching, encouraging, supporting.
And when the energy is clear, when it is finally safe, it is time for me to go
To leave for the next town, city, the next country, to start all over again,
And once in a while, I meet a fellow traveller, male or female, who knows.
Who feels, knows, understands, without speaking any words or explaining.
And we sit, for a moment, an hour or a day, resting and sharing our learning’s
We share what we have seen, heard, sensed, understood, given and received,
Sometimes we even wash each others feet clean of the dust of the road,
During these precious moments, we rest, recharge and refresh each other.
All too soon it is time to part, to resume our journey, to continue the mission,
So we each gather our strength, recommit to our calling and say our goodbyes
And with renewed strength, with our hearts lighter, we continue along the path
Remembering that there are other fellow travellers we’ll meet on the road ahead.
To leave for the next town, city, the next country, to start all over again,
And once in a while, I meet a fellow traveller, male or female, who knows.
Who feels, knows, understands, without speaking any words or explaining.
And we sit, for a moment, an hour or a day, resting and sharing our learning’s
We share what we have seen, heard, sensed, understood, given and received,
Sometimes we even wash each others feet clean of the dust of the road,
During these precious moments, we rest, recharge and refresh each other.
All too soon it is time to part, to resume our journey, to continue the mission,
So we each gather our strength, recommit to our calling and say our goodbyes
And with renewed strength, with our hearts lighter, we continue along the path
Remembering that there are other fellow travellers we’ll meet on the road ahead.
The Great Master
Over 2,000 years ago a great master walked this earth.
A great master who taught about love and peace and beauty
He also taught about forgiveness and compassion and the law of grace,
About understanding and bringing people home to themselves and to God.
He was a shepherd who gently and lovingly watched over his flock,
Guiding them to the greenest pastures, to the sweetest waterholes.
He knew each by their individual identities,
And by their individual strengths and weaknesses.
Yet he loved them all equally and unconditionally
He never judged any one of them as better than any other – nor any worse.
He just accepted them as they were – as perfect in the eyes of the creator.
And, under his watchful care, the flock prospered and grew with each passing day.
You could feel the energy of each individual animal glowing and emitting light,
And the entire flock radiated an even stronger light as they moved,
Blessing the land as the animals grazed upon it and the water as they drank.
Amazingly even the grass became more alive and vibrant, growing at unheard of rates.
Yes this flock was different, special, and unique – or was it?
Was it the flock that was so unique or was it the shepherd?
Or was it the way that the flock was honoured and respected?
Or was it the way the flock was unconditionally loved?
What would happen if each of us were loved for who we really are?
What if each of us was really seen and loved for our uniqueness?
What if we were nurtured and protected from the judgement and jealousy of others?
What if we were all supported and encouraged to develop the great gifts within us?
How different would you be if you were really seen and appreciated?
How different would you be if you knew your special gifts and talents?
How different would you be if you were watched over and loved unconditionally?
And how different would the planet be if you could give this gift to others?
Over 2,000 years ago a great master walked this earth.
A great master who taught about love and peace and beauty
He also taught about forgiveness and compassion and the law of grace,
About understanding and bringing people home to themselves and to God.
He was a shepherd who gently and lovingly watched over his flock,
Guiding them to the greenest pastures, to the sweetest waterholes.
He knew each by their individual identities,
And by their individual strengths and weaknesses.
Yet he loved them all equally and unconditionally
He never judged any one of them as better than any other – nor any worse.
He just accepted them as they were – as perfect in the eyes of the creator.
And, under his watchful care, the flock prospered and grew with each passing day.
You could feel the energy of each individual animal glowing and emitting light,
And the entire flock radiated an even stronger light as they moved,
Blessing the land as the animals grazed upon it and the water as they drank.
Amazingly even the grass became more alive and vibrant, growing at unheard of rates.
Yes this flock was different, special, and unique – or was it?
Was it the flock that was so unique or was it the shepherd?
Or was it the way that the flock was honoured and respected?
Or was it the way the flock was unconditionally loved?
What would happen if each of us were loved for who we really are?
What if each of us was really seen and loved for our uniqueness?
What if we were nurtured and protected from the judgement and jealousy of others?
What if we were all supported and encouraged to develop the great gifts within us?
How different would you be if you were really seen and appreciated?
How different would you be if you knew your special gifts and talents?
How different would you be if you were watched over and loved unconditionally?
And how different would the planet be if you could give this gift to others?
The Peace Mission
It is time for the peace mission to begin
For many years I have studied and prepared
Going over my notes and making sure that all is in order.
And now it is time, now is my golden opportunity
So I gently sit down with myself and ask
Am I ready to be at peace? Am I willing to let go of the struggle?
Am I ready to love myself? Am I ready to acknowledge the good parts of me?
Am I ready to welcome home those parts of myself that I have judged as imperfect?
As the peace negotiations begin, I can feel my resistance increasing
I can easily accept those parts of myself that I am proud of and that look good
However I am not sure I want to look at, no less accept, those “other” parts of myself
Why do they deserve to be invited to be part of this, and to be welcomed home?
My heart is filled with confusion, judgement, anger, resentment and sadness
Why, why, why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so ashamed of my imperfections?
Why am I more willing to forgive both friends and strangers, than I am myself?
Why do I want to separate myself and distance “those” parts of myself from me?
I breathe, soften and ask myself to relax more, to surrender, to trust and to let go
Yet my mind continues to fight, argue and resist. How can I allow this to happen?
How can I allow “those” parts of me that are in conflict to come home?
How can I allow “those” parts of me that embarrass and humiliate me to be honoured?
And yet, I also know that there is no way to make peace without forgiveness
There is no way to make peace when there is anger, judgement, separation
There is no way to have any lasting peace unless all the factions are integrated
Yet my mind still wants to fight, argue, judge, resist and to create division.
Slowly, ever so slowly the tide begins to turn and my mind softens
Slowly, ever so slowly my heart warms and I sense the possibility of reunion
Slowly, ever so slowly I feel something changing, opening to new opportunities
Slowly, ever so slowly the doorway seems open to the possibility of the peace process
Little by little the energy begins to shift, the heaviness in the room lightens
The atmosphere becomes more positive. The change becomes tangible
Slowly, ever so slowly the various aspects of myself gingerly draw closer
Inviting the peace process to include them, to connect them to the whole
And so, on this very special day the peace process has begun
The judgement began to slowly soften and gently melt away
And the various parts, even the ones that were rebelling the most
Put down their weapons and started the journey to wholeness.
This day will be remembered for a long time
For today the peace process started to gain momentum
Today the decision, the choice was made by all to have compassion,
And so today I started to forgive and I started to love and to honour myself.
It is time for the peace mission to begin
For many years I have studied and prepared
Going over my notes and making sure that all is in order.
And now it is time, now is my golden opportunity
So I gently sit down with myself and ask
Am I ready to be at peace? Am I willing to let go of the struggle?
Am I ready to love myself? Am I ready to acknowledge the good parts of me?
Am I ready to welcome home those parts of myself that I have judged as imperfect?
As the peace negotiations begin, I can feel my resistance increasing
I can easily accept those parts of myself that I am proud of and that look good
However I am not sure I want to look at, no less accept, those “other” parts of myself
Why do they deserve to be invited to be part of this, and to be welcomed home?
My heart is filled with confusion, judgement, anger, resentment and sadness
Why, why, why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so ashamed of my imperfections?
Why am I more willing to forgive both friends and strangers, than I am myself?
Why do I want to separate myself and distance “those” parts of myself from me?
I breathe, soften and ask myself to relax more, to surrender, to trust and to let go
Yet my mind continues to fight, argue and resist. How can I allow this to happen?
How can I allow “those” parts of me that are in conflict to come home?
How can I allow “those” parts of me that embarrass and humiliate me to be honoured?
And yet, I also know that there is no way to make peace without forgiveness
There is no way to make peace when there is anger, judgement, separation
There is no way to have any lasting peace unless all the factions are integrated
Yet my mind still wants to fight, argue, judge, resist and to create division.
Slowly, ever so slowly the tide begins to turn and my mind softens
Slowly, ever so slowly my heart warms and I sense the possibility of reunion
Slowly, ever so slowly I feel something changing, opening to new opportunities
Slowly, ever so slowly the doorway seems open to the possibility of the peace process
Little by little the energy begins to shift, the heaviness in the room lightens
The atmosphere becomes more positive. The change becomes tangible
Slowly, ever so slowly the various aspects of myself gingerly draw closer
Inviting the peace process to include them, to connect them to the whole
And so, on this very special day the peace process has begun
The judgement began to slowly soften and gently melt away
And the various parts, even the ones that were rebelling the most
Put down their weapons and started the journey to wholeness.
This day will be remembered for a long time
For today the peace process started to gain momentum
Today the decision, the choice was made by all to have compassion,
And so today I started to forgive and I started to love and to honour myself.
The Trapeze Artist
High above the maddening crowds, the trapeze artist swings
Holding tightly onto his precarious perch, his mundane lifeline,
Feeling the solidity, knowing he is safe and secure, at least for now,
And, at the same time, knowing that soon he will have to let go.
His mind wants to know exactly what the letting go will bring?
How he will feel? Will he be safe? Will it bring the changes he really wants?
As the trapeze artist swings to and fro, he questions, ponders, wonders,
Knowing the time of release is coming closer and closer and closer.
His heart beats more quickly now, as the letting go time approaches,
All the wanting, longing, waiting, - and at the same time fearing.
All the planning, hoping, dreaming – all the struggling to break free.
Wanting the changes, the freedom – and yet wanting the safety, too!
How can someone be free, to live on the edge – and feel safe and secure?
How can someone know safety – and at the same time risk and go for it?
How can someone be secure – and at the same time live in uncertainty?
How can someone, anyone, be sure of anything – ever?
Now the trapeze artist’s swings become even stronger, higher, bolder,
Moving more fully into the time of release – the time of letting go –
The time of trusting himself, his training, the Universe, his fate, his destiny
And now the moment of truth is here – all too quickly – all too soon.
As the trapeze artist releases his grip, he says a prayer, he is flying free,
Surrendering into all of his knowing, his experience and his training,
Trusting that he is enough, his training is enough, that he is safe.
His heart beats even faster, his mind racing with fear and wonderment.
And then his palms grasp the new bar, connecting him to safety once again,
He feels the exhilaration of landing, connecting, of surviving his leap of faith,
Now the trapeze artist takes a moment to rest, recover, integrate, reflect,
Until he is ready, willing and feels confident enough to go for the next bar!
High above the maddening crowds, the trapeze artist swings
Holding tightly onto his precarious perch, his mundane lifeline,
Feeling the solidity, knowing he is safe and secure, at least for now,
And, at the same time, knowing that soon he will have to let go.
His mind wants to know exactly what the letting go will bring?
How he will feel? Will he be safe? Will it bring the changes he really wants?
As the trapeze artist swings to and fro, he questions, ponders, wonders,
Knowing the time of release is coming closer and closer and closer.
His heart beats more quickly now, as the letting go time approaches,
All the wanting, longing, waiting, - and at the same time fearing.
All the planning, hoping, dreaming – all the struggling to break free.
Wanting the changes, the freedom – and yet wanting the safety, too!
How can someone be free, to live on the edge – and feel safe and secure?
How can someone know safety – and at the same time risk and go for it?
How can someone be secure – and at the same time live in uncertainty?
How can someone, anyone, be sure of anything – ever?
Now the trapeze artist’s swings become even stronger, higher, bolder,
Moving more fully into the time of release – the time of letting go –
The time of trusting himself, his training, the Universe, his fate, his destiny
And now the moment of truth is here – all too quickly – all too soon.
As the trapeze artist releases his grip, he says a prayer, he is flying free,
Surrendering into all of his knowing, his experience and his training,
Trusting that he is enough, his training is enough, that he is safe.
His heart beats even faster, his mind racing with fear and wonderment.
And then his palms grasp the new bar, connecting him to safety once again,
He feels the exhilaration of landing, connecting, of surviving his leap of faith,
Now the trapeze artist takes a moment to rest, recover, integrate, reflect,
Until he is ready, willing and feels confident enough to go for the next bar!
The Painter’s Pallet
Each of us is a very talented, creative, master painter, an artist extraordinaire,
We paint with our thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, beliefs, actions,
We take what is real and add to it our fears, expectations, desires, passions,
We also add to this our dreams, fantasies, hopes, projections and much more.
We always color the blank canvas of life, the canvas of what really is,
Each of us paints our canvas in our own unique way, depending upon our history,
Radically transforming the exact same canvas, the exact same experience,
Into vastly different works of art …. embracing the full spectrum of radiant colors.
We take the simplicity of what is, and alter it, change it in millions of ways,
Then we present our final painted masterpiece to ourselves and the world,
Believing that what we painted is real, unique and accurately portrays our world.
Yet in truth, it only shows our reflection, our state of being and our worldview.
What is … is not different … yet everyone sees it different, experiences it different,
Paints it different … colors it different …. shades it different … embraces it different ..
Reacts to it different …. imagines it different …. and describes it different ….
This is the beauty of life, of our freedom of choice, of free will …. for all of us!
So choose your paint and brush wisely, with great care, my brothers and sisters,
And always remember that you are the Artist, you are the Master Creator,
You are at choice – You are the one with the Power and the Responsibility,
And you are the one who has to look at and to live with your painting every day!
Each of us is a very talented, creative, master painter, an artist extraordinaire,
We paint with our thoughts, feelings, emotions, attitudes, beliefs, actions,
We take what is real and add to it our fears, expectations, desires, passions,
We also add to this our dreams, fantasies, hopes, projections and much more.
We always color the blank canvas of life, the canvas of what really is,
Each of us paints our canvas in our own unique way, depending upon our history,
Radically transforming the exact same canvas, the exact same experience,
Into vastly different works of art …. embracing the full spectrum of radiant colors.
We take the simplicity of what is, and alter it, change it in millions of ways,
Then we present our final painted masterpiece to ourselves and the world,
Believing that what we painted is real, unique and accurately portrays our world.
Yet in truth, it only shows our reflection, our state of being and our worldview.
What is … is not different … yet everyone sees it different, experiences it different,
Paints it different … colors it different …. shades it different … embraces it different ..
Reacts to it different …. imagines it different …. and describes it different ….
This is the beauty of life, of our freedom of choice, of free will …. for all of us!
So choose your paint and brush wisely, with great care, my brothers and sisters,
And always remember that you are the Artist, you are the Master Creator,
You are at choice – You are the one with the Power and the Responsibility,
And you are the one who has to look at and to live with your painting every day!
The Beach Ball & The Roller Coaster Ride
The large beach ball filled with air is released from deep under the water,
It rushes to the surface with ever-increasing speed – leaping high into the air
Then it falls back under the water, and the process continues
Until with time, the ball rests gently, quietly, calmly on the surface
It feels like I am on a giant, wild roller coaster ride, where I am not in control,
Being pushed one way, then pulled another, up, down, right, left, sideways
Pushed, shoved, flying through the air, all my emotions mixed together.
All my thoughts and emotions scrambled like eggs in a breakfast frying pan.
Everything is coming up for me now, past life stuff, healing myself stuff
Where to live stuff, who am I stuff, everything seems to be bursting to the surface
Everything feels like I am on the biggest roller coaster ride in the Universe.
So I am holding on for dear life, breathing, trusting, having faith as best I can
I feel overwhelmed at this point, my insecurities screaming for attention,
My feelings and emotions raw, as I am feeling my own pain and loneliness
The memories of mother issues, father issues, abandonment and betrayal issues
Everything unhealed from the past seems to be coming up – all at once.
All the polarities are being triggered – each screaming that they are right
Wanting to be part of something, yet afraid of losing myself in something
Wanting to be totally free, yet wanting to connect and belong
Wanting to be totally present, yet at the same time wanting to run away
Everything is coming up within me now for healing, for clearing, for integrating
I never ever want to ever hurt, use or abuse anyone else ever again – ever!
I never ever want to ever be hurt, used or abused ever again – ever!
And I never ever want to ever hurt, use or abuse myself ever again – ever!
I want to connect with people in a good and sacred way, from a place of integrity
Yet the pain and the abuse of the past clouds my feelings, emotions, clarity
The roller coaster speeds up, accelerating. my stomach is sick, my head aches,
My heart aches – my tears uncontrollably streaming hotly down my cheeks
I feel so open, raw and vulnerable – I feel so small, insecure, scared, unsure
It is all so overwhelming right now, yet I know this is the process of deep healing
The seeds of the new me, nourished by my tears of release, gingerly awaken
They start to grow, slowly, steadily, stretching, reaching for the light, the truth.
Finally the beach ball quiets on the surface, and the roller coaster slows down
The energy settles, the emotions begin to calm, settle down, integrate and align,
The fog slowly lifts and there is a new clarity, a new understanding, a new me.
Thank you Spirit, for caring so much and challenging me to be all of who I am!
The large beach ball filled with air is released from deep under the water,
It rushes to the surface with ever-increasing speed – leaping high into the air
Then it falls back under the water, and the process continues
Until with time, the ball rests gently, quietly, calmly on the surface
It feels like I am on a giant, wild roller coaster ride, where I am not in control,
Being pushed one way, then pulled another, up, down, right, left, sideways
Pushed, shoved, flying through the air, all my emotions mixed together.
All my thoughts and emotions scrambled like eggs in a breakfast frying pan.
Everything is coming up for me now, past life stuff, healing myself stuff
Where to live stuff, who am I stuff, everything seems to be bursting to the surface
Everything feels like I am on the biggest roller coaster ride in the Universe.
So I am holding on for dear life, breathing, trusting, having faith as best I can
I feel overwhelmed at this point, my insecurities screaming for attention,
My feelings and emotions raw, as I am feeling my own pain and loneliness
The memories of mother issues, father issues, abandonment and betrayal issues
Everything unhealed from the past seems to be coming up – all at once.
All the polarities are being triggered – each screaming that they are right
Wanting to be part of something, yet afraid of losing myself in something
Wanting to be totally free, yet wanting to connect and belong
Wanting to be totally present, yet at the same time wanting to run away
Everything is coming up within me now for healing, for clearing, for integrating
I never ever want to ever hurt, use or abuse anyone else ever again – ever!
I never ever want to ever be hurt, used or abused ever again – ever!
And I never ever want to ever hurt, use or abuse myself ever again – ever!
I want to connect with people in a good and sacred way, from a place of integrity
Yet the pain and the abuse of the past clouds my feelings, emotions, clarity
The roller coaster speeds up, accelerating. my stomach is sick, my head aches,
My heart aches – my tears uncontrollably streaming hotly down my cheeks
I feel so open, raw and vulnerable – I feel so small, insecure, scared, unsure
It is all so overwhelming right now, yet I know this is the process of deep healing
The seeds of the new me, nourished by my tears of release, gingerly awaken
They start to grow, slowly, steadily, stretching, reaching for the light, the truth.
Finally the beach ball quiets on the surface, and the roller coaster slows down
The energy settles, the emotions begin to calm, settle down, integrate and align,
The fog slowly lifts and there is a new clarity, a new understanding, a new me.
Thank you Spirit, for caring so much and challenging me to be all of who I am!
Sitting in the Void – Not Knowing
I sit in the void, not knowing, not in control, not feeling safe, not anything,
I wonder what is real, what is truth, who can I trust, what I can believe,
Everything seems so unstable, so changeable, so fluid, so shaky, so jelly-like,
That part of me that wants, needs, hungers for certainty is scared, challenged.
I trust in the process, I believe the Universe will take me where I need to be, go,
Yet the human part of me wants to see, know, feel, understand, wants certainty,
My mind spins, whirls, asks questions, creates scenarios, doubts, invents fears,
My heart aches from the pain of loss, separation, isolation, change, uncertainty,
As I sit in this void I am torn between tears, frustration, anger, upset, grief,
The tears just below the surface, building, filling, percolating, bubbling,
My heart aching, burning, stretching, clearing, cleansing, purging, unloading,
In my mind I know what I want, need, desire – my heart thinks it knows too.
Yet my soul seems to want to lead me in another direction – but to where?
As I sit in the void, I ponder, wait, question, feel, sometimes I even relax into it,
Other times, like a baby trapped in the womb, I struggle, fight, kick, toss, turn,
When will this birthing process be over, when will the placenta break, when?
I can only pray, allow, surrender, trust, believe – eat healthy food, exercise, rest,
I can only allow the time needed for this process to run its course – to complete,
I can only believe in myself, the Great Mystery, in Spirit, in the process called life,
So I swim, walk, do my best to quiet my mind - and I open my heart even more!
I sit in the void, not knowing, not in control, not feeling safe, not anything,
I wonder what is real, what is truth, who can I trust, what I can believe,
Everything seems so unstable, so changeable, so fluid, so shaky, so jelly-like,
That part of me that wants, needs, hungers for certainty is scared, challenged.
I trust in the process, I believe the Universe will take me where I need to be, go,
Yet the human part of me wants to see, know, feel, understand, wants certainty,
My mind spins, whirls, asks questions, creates scenarios, doubts, invents fears,
My heart aches from the pain of loss, separation, isolation, change, uncertainty,
As I sit in this void I am torn between tears, frustration, anger, upset, grief,
The tears just below the surface, building, filling, percolating, bubbling,
My heart aching, burning, stretching, clearing, cleansing, purging, unloading,
In my mind I know what I want, need, desire – my heart thinks it knows too.
Yet my soul seems to want to lead me in another direction – but to where?
As I sit in the void, I ponder, wait, question, feel, sometimes I even relax into it,
Other times, like a baby trapped in the womb, I struggle, fight, kick, toss, turn,
When will this birthing process be over, when will the placenta break, when?
I can only pray, allow, surrender, trust, believe – eat healthy food, exercise, rest,
I can only allow the time needed for this process to run its course – to complete,
I can only believe in myself, the Great Mystery, in Spirit, in the process called life,
So I swim, walk, do my best to quiet my mind - and I open my heart even more!
The Two Alters
In all lands, with all people, there are two Alters where people go to worship,
One is the Alter of pain, suffering, separation, fear, lack, anger, competition,
The other is the Alter of peace, love, abundance, joy, happiness, success,
Each person must choose how to live their life and at which Alter to worship!
There are times when people jump back and forth, making themselves crazy,
Most people tend to stick to one, or the other, or even somewhere in between,
Yet it is challenging to ride two horses at once, or to worship two different Gods,
So most people tend to worship only one, and live their entire life by those rules!
Unfortunately some people pretend, saying they are worshiping one God,
When their thoughts, actions, deeds clearly indicate something very different!
In reality, all they are doing is pretending – and then worshiping the other God!
This is so strange, to see people talking love and abundance – and living in fear!
So I ask you, which alter do you worship at? How committed are you – and why?
How do you really act, what do you really say, what do you do, how do you think?
Are you committed to your success, abundance, to love, peace, joy and happiness,
Or are you actually worshiping at the Alter of fear, anger, lack, suffering, pain?
Only you know the deepest reaches of your own mind, your heart and your soul,
Only you know what your innermost thoughts and feelings are in each moment,
Only you know how you act and how you treat yourself and those closest to you,
Only you know your deepest wishes, desires, dreams, expectations and more!
In all lands, with all people, there are two Alters where people go to worship,
One is the Alter of pain, suffering, separation, fear, lack, anger, competition,
The other is the Alter of peace, love, abundance, joy, happiness, success,
Each person must choose how to live their life and at which Alter to worship!
There are times when people jump back and forth, making themselves crazy,
Most people tend to stick to one, or the other, or even somewhere in between,
Yet it is challenging to ride two horses at once, or to worship two different Gods,
So most people tend to worship only one, and live their entire life by those rules!
Unfortunately some people pretend, saying they are worshiping one God,
When their thoughts, actions, deeds clearly indicate something very different!
In reality, all they are doing is pretending – and then worshiping the other God!
This is so strange, to see people talking love and abundance – and living in fear!
So I ask you, which alter do you worship at? How committed are you – and why?
How do you really act, what do you really say, what do you do, how do you think?
Are you committed to your success, abundance, to love, peace, joy and happiness,
Or are you actually worshiping at the Alter of fear, anger, lack, suffering, pain?
Only you know the deepest reaches of your own mind, your heart and your soul,
Only you know what your innermost thoughts and feelings are in each moment,
Only you know how you act and how you treat yourself and those closest to you,
Only you know your deepest wishes, desires, dreams, expectations and more!
When You Are Ready
When you are ready
Your life will begin to change
And the past, with all its hurts, pains
And disappointments will gently melt away.
When you are ready
Your confusion, resistance, fears, and doubts will dissipate
And your desire for freedom will grow
Beckoning you to fully embrace the real you.
When you are ready
Your mask, your survival kit, will no longer be needed
And the true you, the authentic you,
Will gingerly peek out seeking the light of life.
When you are ready
Your pride, looking good, and being right will no longer matter
For your desire for truth, connection and spirit
Will awaken and fill you.
And when you are ready
Your vision will clear and you will know, beyond the shadow of a doubt
The gift that you already are.
It is time, beloved being of light, to ignite and shine bright!
When you are ready
Your life will begin to change
And the past, with all its hurts, pains
And disappointments will gently melt away.
When you are ready
Your confusion, resistance, fears, and doubts will dissipate
And your desire for freedom will grow
Beckoning you to fully embrace the real you.
When you are ready
Your mask, your survival kit, will no longer be needed
And the true you, the authentic you,
Will gingerly peek out seeking the light of life.
When you are ready
Your pride, looking good, and being right will no longer matter
For your desire for truth, connection and spirit
Will awaken and fill you.
And when you are ready
Your vision will clear and you will know, beyond the shadow of a doubt
The gift that you already are.
It is time, beloved being of light, to ignite and shine bright!
The Tightrope Walker
High above the maddening crowds of life, the tightrope walker gingerly walks,
Delicately balancing his body, his mind, energy, thoughts, feelings and emotions,
He has to maintain his balance or he will lean, tilt off balance and fall to his death,
So he remains calm, focused, centred – paying full attention to his every action.
He balances his head and his heart, staying as close to centre as he can,
He balances his intellect with his emotions, his thoughts and his feelings,
He balances his left-brain and his right-brain, his logic and his intuition,
He balances his mind, thoughts, logic with his feelings, emotions, heart, intuition.
He balances his will and his power with his love, tenderness and compassion,
He balances his desires and needs, with the desires and needs of others,
He balances his longing for control, with his need for independence and freedom,
He balances all of his polarities, all of his extremes, all of his aspects, his parts.
Walking the tightrope, remaining in balance is not easy, however it is a challenge,
A very noble worthy challenge few can do, and fewer still can do well, or master,
Only a rare few dare to walk life in balance, peace, harmony, joy and happiness,
Only a rare few dare to keep their mind and heart open, feeling, staying present.
So I take another deep breath, outstretch my arms even wider, feeling, sensing,
Seeking to stay present in my body, alive, alert, awake, listening, feeling, sensing,
And as I walk, I feel my own body, the rope, the pulse of life and of the Universe,
I feel my heart and my soul calling to me, to live life fully – in love, in compassion.
Each day I walk this tightrope, dong my best to learn, change, grow and evolve,
Each and everyday I risk a little more, learn a little more, balance a little better,
As I risk and learn, I remain open, receptive, vulnerable, feeling, sensing, living,
Sometimes I come close to losing my balance and falling, yet my soul saves me.
Thankfully I am paying attention, learning to be more open, aware, sensitive,
I’m learning not to judge, beat myself up, condemn myself or seek perfection,
Each day I do my best to maintain this delicate balance – to seek my centre,
To seek the truth of who I am, to give my best to myself, and to this world!
Every time I lean too much to the right, or too much to the left, I catch myself,
Returning as best I can to my centre, to balance, peace, love and harmony,
This takes constant awareness, supreme commitment, sensitivity and more,
Yet as each day passes, I can see, I can feel how much I am growing, evolving.
Yes, I can still laugh, and play, and create, and dance, and still live life fully,
However there is an inner calling within me to be more, to become more,
This inner calling is for peace, harmony, balance, sensitivity, awareness,
To connect with myself, others, to maintain a balance, to walk the tightrope well!
High above the maddening crowds of life, the tightrope walker gingerly walks,
Delicately balancing his body, his mind, energy, thoughts, feelings and emotions,
He has to maintain his balance or he will lean, tilt off balance and fall to his death,
So he remains calm, focused, centred – paying full attention to his every action.
He balances his head and his heart, staying as close to centre as he can,
He balances his intellect with his emotions, his thoughts and his feelings,
He balances his left-brain and his right-brain, his logic and his intuition,
He balances his mind, thoughts, logic with his feelings, emotions, heart, intuition.
He balances his will and his power with his love, tenderness and compassion,
He balances his desires and needs, with the desires and needs of others,
He balances his longing for control, with his need for independence and freedom,
He balances all of his polarities, all of his extremes, all of his aspects, his parts.
Walking the tightrope, remaining in balance is not easy, however it is a challenge,
A very noble worthy challenge few can do, and fewer still can do well, or master,
Only a rare few dare to walk life in balance, peace, harmony, joy and happiness,
Only a rare few dare to keep their mind and heart open, feeling, staying present.
So I take another deep breath, outstretch my arms even wider, feeling, sensing,
Seeking to stay present in my body, alive, alert, awake, listening, feeling, sensing,
And as I walk, I feel my own body, the rope, the pulse of life and of the Universe,
I feel my heart and my soul calling to me, to live life fully – in love, in compassion.
Each day I walk this tightrope, dong my best to learn, change, grow and evolve,
Each and everyday I risk a little more, learn a little more, balance a little better,
As I risk and learn, I remain open, receptive, vulnerable, feeling, sensing, living,
Sometimes I come close to losing my balance and falling, yet my soul saves me.
Thankfully I am paying attention, learning to be more open, aware, sensitive,
I’m learning not to judge, beat myself up, condemn myself or seek perfection,
Each day I do my best to maintain this delicate balance – to seek my centre,
To seek the truth of who I am, to give my best to myself, and to this world!
Every time I lean too much to the right, or too much to the left, I catch myself,
Returning as best I can to my centre, to balance, peace, love and harmony,
This takes constant awareness, supreme commitment, sensitivity and more,
Yet as each day passes, I can see, I can feel how much I am growing, evolving.
Yes, I can still laugh, and play, and create, and dance, and still live life fully,
However there is an inner calling within me to be more, to become more,
This inner calling is for peace, harmony, balance, sensitivity, awareness,
To connect with myself, others, to maintain a balance, to walk the tightrope well!
The Delicate Art of Supporting Others and Ourselves
How many times in your life have you felt excited about something you've seen, heard, done or were planning to do, yet when you shared it with someone, their comments felt as if a bucket of ice water was dumped on your head? How many times have you felt all of your joy, happiness, excitement and enthusiasm destroyed?
At the other extreme, how many times have you felt frustrated, exhausted and ready to give up, when someone gifted you with a smile, a caring hug and words of encouragement that totally lifted your spirit? Looking back over your life, remember the people who, with a few kind, caring, encouraging words made your heart sing? Do you remember how positive, re-energized and re-committed you became? Those are the friends to keep around.
As humans, we are sensitive and often oversensitive. At the same time, we have a tendency to be critical of others and especially of ourselves. Regardless of whether we are talking to children, young adults, adults, parents, partners, work colleagues or even to ourselves, the way we communicate and share – and respond - can have a huge effect on the outcome of our – and their - health, sanity, projects and relationships.
How many times in your life have you felt excited about something you've seen, heard, done or were planning to do, yet when you shared it with someone, their comments felt as if a bucket of ice water was dumped on your head? How many times have you felt all of your joy, happiness, excitement and enthusiasm destroyed?
At the other extreme, how many times have you felt frustrated, exhausted and ready to give up, when someone gifted you with a smile, a caring hug and words of encouragement that totally lifted your spirit? Looking back over your life, remember the people who, with a few kind, caring, encouraging words made your heart sing? Do you remember how positive, re-energized and re-committed you became? Those are the friends to keep around.
As humans, we are sensitive and often oversensitive. At the same time, we have a tendency to be critical of others and especially of ourselves. Regardless of whether we are talking to children, young adults, adults, parents, partners, work colleagues or even to ourselves, the way we communicate and share – and respond - can have a huge effect on the outcome of our – and their - health, sanity, projects and relationships.
Kindness, caring and compassion cost so little to give, and yet often has a huge impact on the person we are interacting with. So rather than criticize, look for the good in people. Take time to compliment a person. Be sensitive to what others are feeling and may be going through and ALWAYS see their magnificence, their divine soul essence.
Although this article is focused on how we communicate with others, it also pertains to how we treat and communicate with ourselves. Often there seems to be an “unkind” voice within us that puts us down, criticizes us and points out even our most minute imperfection. That voice is the wounded (disowned) part of our self that is crying out, begging for healing and acceptance.
The kinder, caring, compassionate and more loving we become – to ourselves as well as to others - the faster we will heal, learn, change, grow and evolve into the magnificent perfectly-imperfect human being we already are.
Isn’t today a great time to start?
Although this article is focused on how we communicate with others, it also pertains to how we treat and communicate with ourselves. Often there seems to be an “unkind” voice within us that puts us down, criticizes us and points out even our most minute imperfection. That voice is the wounded (disowned) part of our self that is crying out, begging for healing and acceptance.
The kinder, caring, compassionate and more loving we become – to ourselves as well as to others - the faster we will heal, learn, change, grow and evolve into the magnificent perfectly-imperfect human being we already are.
Isn’t today a great time to start?
