Neshni Naidoo

happiness

I closed my eyes and began to dream. I was in another world, filled with people who were happy – happy to be alive, happy to be who they were. It was the most amazing place – somewhere you would want to stay forever. All too soon, I woke from this dream, but I yearned to go back.

A voice whispered to me, “You can create such a place here.”
“How?” I asked.
“It begins with you. All change starts with you.”
I was still unsure and asked for more guidance.

“Do you know what your purpose is?”
“No,” I replied.
“That is the first step."
"When you understand your purpose, you can live your life according to this purpose. Life becomes meaningful, not a never-ending stream of tasks that you cross off your to-do list.
Begin the day by asking what difference you can make today. End the day by asking what difference you made today. It does not have to be heroic or world changing. A small act that impacts another positively is sufficient.
Whatever you do has a ripple effect on the world around you. When you see the effect on the receiver and feel the effect on yourself, it is like a catalyst that spurs you on.
Living a life of purpose is what will make you happy. That is the reason for your existence."


​

Stolen Moments

Stolen moments
Fleeting moments
Of silence

Special moments
Treasured moments
Of peace

Time to heal
And to reveal
My true purpose

Time to create
And meditate
What bliss

These moments
Are my moments
My life's breath

​

Scattered Emotions 

Fragments of paper in my cupped hands
Scattered hither by the swish of wind's hands
Each fragment contains a part of me
Parts unwanted, that I don't want to be

Destructive emotions mined from the core
Concretised, they are with me no more
As each fragment is scattered afar
It heals the wounds and repairs old scars

And as each fragment is blown away
It leaves me prepared for another day

Self-Portrait
A self-portrait created for public view
Admired, critiqued beautiful reviews
But like the Mona Lisa with her mystical smile
This portrait is meant to beguile

Clues are there for the eagled-eyed sleuth
Clues that will uncover the truth
Stories of tears of pain and shame
The angry beast that had to be tamed

Some clues uncovered by those who cared
But many still have not been shared
For the portrait displayed for public view
Has been created for beautiful reviews

Words Unspoken

Words unspoken on the tip of my tongue
But the opportunity's lost, the moment is gone
Words hastily in silence retreat
To regroup, for the right moment entreat

But the right moment never comes
And the words, restless they become
Mind and body come undone
And words disjointed, outward flung

Until at last, out comes paper and pen
Words effusive flow, no longer penned
Words now spoken, once more at peace
Mind and body, once more at ease

An Endless Dream

The mind untethered 
Wanders in an endless dream
Whilst the body is shackled
To an array of machines 
That monitor and medicate

Moments of lucidity
Faces recognised
But disjointed thoughts
Rooted in dreams
Spew out bizarre words

Body healed, mind awake
But at times memories are triggered
And fear returns 
Of losing control
Of losing oneself 
In that endless dream

---

​Why do we put pressure on ourselves to be something we are not – to be what others expect us to be? Chant this affirmation - “I am enough”.

I AM ENOUGH

Darkness despair
No-one listens
No-one cares

To go or not to go
Would anyone miss me
I don't think so

They say
These are your best years 
But to me
They are the worst

No-one sees
No-one understands 
To them 
I am not enough

Not good enough 
Not smart enough
Not beautiful 
Not handsome 
Too fat too thin
Too tall too short
Too loud too soft 
A joker too serious 
Too wild too restrained
The list goes on

But wait 
What is this I hear you say
I am enough? 
I am enough? 

I AM ENOUGH
There is only one of me 
So I can be 
No-one else but me

Don't judge me 
Don't try to change me
Love me accept me
There is only one of me

I may need to change 
But I will do it for me
Not likes or followers
Or popularity

I AM ENOUGH
There is only one of me 
So I can be 
No-one else but me

This year was a challenge for all of us. While many faced hardship and loss, the pandemic reconnected us and reminded us of our place in this world – of our purpose. Even if you don’t believe in making New Year’s Resolutions, make yourself a promise not to forget what you have learnt in 2020. Let us remain connected.

We Are Connected

We are connected 
A part of the whole 
But sometimes we forget 
Feel isolated, alone 

This year we fought 
COVID, a common foe
Who strengthened old ties 
And helped new ones grow

Isolated from each other
We found a way
To laugh, cry, dance together
To meet, play and pray

We opened our hearts 
Let our love shine 
And remembered our connection
With the Divine 

As the year ends
Let us not forget 
We are connected 
A part of the whole

---

I Am Tired

I am tired 
Tired of fighting 
For my place in this world 

I am tired 
Tired of pretending 
That everything is OK 

I am tired
Tired of smiling
When I feel like crying 

I am tired 
Tired of accepting 
When I should be rejecting
Your expectations of me
Your perceptions of me 

But it must end now 
As I tread the road not taken

I will speak out
Share my story  
Purge the toxic patterns
And negative thoughts
That paralyse me

I will stand tall
And proclaim my worth
There's no stopping me
I'll reclaim my place
To a new me, give birth

Message From Beyond

I completed my mission 
And so it was time for this body to leave
But know that I am still here in spirit
Connected to you 
By an unwavering indestructible bond of love

Celebrate the life I lived
Remember me in the little things
Speak to me when your heart is heavy
See me in those I've left behind

Feel cry mourn rage
But then step into the light 
For that is where I dwell

Watching over you
Guiding you 
Protecting you
Until it is time for this soul to begin a new journey 
A new adventure

But remember and believe
We will always be connected 
Through the unwavering indestructible bond of love